Raising a Happy, Healthy Child

In Alice in Wonderland, when Alice asks the Cheshire Cat which way she should go, the Chesire Cat responds ''That depends a good deal on where you want to get to."

Any coach, self-development group and improvement guru will tell you that you first have to know what you want or where you are going if you want to have any hope of accomplishing anything.

So what are your goals for your kids? I know this might be a stretch for some young parents, but try to envision your son or daughter at age 40. What would you want to see? How would you know if "you done good"?

Firstly, you probably want them to be healthy. This probably includes being trim and exercising, which you can influence. Of course, you also want them to be free of diseases, but we may have less influence over this.

Also, you probably want your child to be happily married. This you can probably influence by showing and teaching your child about good marriages. Even if you are a single parent, you can still teach your child about healthy relationships, you just have be a little more active and not expect them to learn this passively. (Hey married folks - you probably should not be too passive either!) You can influence this by talking about good marriages you see amongst your friends and teaching your child about being a good friend.

Now I just read a study that was done some years ago with university students. The researchers took a class of students and split them into groups. The first group journaled every day or every week about things they were grateful for, things they were thankful for. Other kids were asked to journal about hassles - things that bothered them.

Of course you would expect that the first group of kids were happier and more satisfied with their lives. That goes without saying. Think about the kind of people you prefer to be with, people who are telling you about the great things in their lives and counting their blessings or the people who will tell you everything that is wrong in the world. I call this second group "energy vampires". The first group also was more optimistic about the future.

None of this is surprising, you could really expect that of people who are counting their blessings. But there are two surprises in store!

Surprise number one - The first group was more helpful! They were more likely to help someone with a problem. Basically, they were better friends. So this certainly would help them to be happier and in good relationships.

Surprise number two - the first group also exercised more and they reported better health. They had less coffee, less alcohol, and took less aspirin.

So now you have an idea about how to accomplish a goal of having your child grow to be a happy, healthy adult. Talk about gratitude and help your kids keep a gratitude journal.

I have written about this before and I am sure to write about it again and again because it is so important. Some self-development gurus use the phrase, "What you focus on expands". Now there is scientific proof.

To raise happy, healthy kids, raise kids who focus on being happy and healthy! The actions to focus on this could be thinking, speaking or writing, but whatever it is, focus on the blessings in your life!

Shaya Kass, PhD is a parenting coach. He helps parents create relationships with their kids that give a lifetime of smiles. Sincere, deep, loving relationships. He offers tips and techniques for growing happy, inspired kids and parents at http://www.PositiveParentPlus.com. Visit now for a free report on The 7 Key Steps to Being A Positive Parent.

Shaya can be reached at DrShaya@PositiveParentPlus.com