You wouldn't dream of buying a new car without investigating its features. You would never send your child to college without learning the benefits of attending certain schools. Yet when it comes to making a lifetime commitment to a marriage partner, too many people are not looking under the hood of their relationship. Investing in quality premarital counseling can prevent costly and emotional mistakes.

More than half of all first-time marriages end in divorce. For second marriages, the divorce rate soars to 68%. The average price of a divorce is about $20,000. You can't even place a price tag on the emotional toll. Divorce even has a medical cost. The Center for Disease Control reported that unhappy marriages increase the likelihood of illness by 35% and shortens the life span by 4 years.

Premarital counseling can reverse those numbers. However, not all premarital experiences are equal and there are factors to look for when considering who will conduct the counseling. First, a premarital counselor should focus on the strengths of the couple, not just the differences or potential areas of conflict. Second, he or she should focus on the marriage, not just the wedding. Third, the counseling itself should include tools and techniques to weather the storms of life over the years to come. A qualified premarital counselor will teach couples about communication, conflict resolution, boundaries and making decisions about concerns like family planning, household chores, and finances,

It is best to enlist an objective counselor who does not have a history with your family. This enables complete honesty. Starting off a marriage based on withheld information or secrets or even out and out lies can cause problems in the realtionship later and possibly in the extended family as well.

Premarital counseling usually consists of 4-8 sessions to cover all pertinent topics. Starting sooner into the engagement than the month before the wedding is preferred. This reduces stress right before the wedding and also allows for more honesty since some may fear that the truth could jeopardize the wedding. 

Finally, premarital counseling is not only for the young, first-time-married couples. Older couples and those entering second or third marriages can benefit as well. Often times, remarriages are founded on a prior history of hurt and a sense of failure, and usually they involve children who bring their own thoughts and feelings into the mix. Therefore, it is best to lay all these cards on the table in order to know how best to play the game.

Just about every distressed couple I have seen in my office has regretfully admitted that they should have sought help sooner. So think of premarital counseling as preventative medicine  for the health and success of your marriage.