If a man files for a divorce, he is being blamed for wrecking the marriage. On the other hand, if a woman takes an initiative to file for divorce, various women-rights organisations, hold men as responsible for forcing a woman to take such a drastic step. Even the law favours a woman and the divorce is usually a no-win situation for a man. So, while the media and various groups focus on the rights of a woman, they seldom take note of the predicament of a man and what he goes through!

The Other Side of the Story

There are numerous problems faced by men owing to divorce. A few of them are listed below:

Bolt from the Blue: In more than 90% of the cases, the petition for divorce is filed by a woman. Hence, a divorce comes as a sudden shock to most of the men who are totally unprepared to face the situation. However, his spouse would have taken all the preliminary measure and would be ready for the process, giving her an extra edge.

Financial Responsibilities: A man's divorce expense does not end with his solicitor's fee. A major portion of his hard-earned money would go toward his ex's alimony and child maintenance. Being pushed to the brink of bankruptcy, they might even be asked to bear his ex's solicitor bill.

Losing out on Home: Apart from losing his wealth, he might be asked to move out of his home. Also, in an effort to punish their spouse, a lot of women tend to claim other items in the household that are treasured by their spouse.

Child Custody: As if bankruptcy and losing the roof over their head is not enough, men are also denied custody of their children. Even if they are granted child visitation rights, they might get very little time to spend with their children and it is difficult to legally enforce his visitation rights, if his ex is not supportive.

The emotional and financial blows on a man causes so much pain that he gets confused about his future. Some men even resort to alcoholism, drugs or in some extreme cases commit suicide being unable to cope up with the problems arising out of the situation.

Rebuilding Life after Divorce

However, it is unwise to take extreme measure for a problem that can be addressed with due effort. With proper guidance and effort, it is possible to fight out the post-divorce blues and rebuild your life afresh.

Here are some of the tips that can help a man to rebuild his life after a divorce:

1. Time to Move On: When you wife has filed for divorce, it clearly indicates that she does not want you to be a part of your life. So, instead of sticking to your old memories, it is time for you to move ahead in life. Try to forgive your spouse. By being angry with her, you will be losing your peace of mind. Also, maintaining a cordial relationship with your ex is important for the sake of your children.

Try to find new friends or spend more time with your close friends, play your favourite sports or try to focus your attention towards your work. This can help you forget your worries and move ahead in life. If not, you could always seek the professional assistance of a counsellor.

2. Stay Connected: Stay in constant touch with your children and pay your child maintenance regularly. Do not avoid visitations fearing a bitter encounter with your ex. If you do so, it would only affect your children and you might risk losing your visitation rights. Also, if your ex hinders your visitation rights, do not hesitate to get legal assistance to enforce your rights. After all, your children can help you overcome your loneliness and fill the vacuum caused due to divorce.

3. Manage your Finances: Most of the times, a man has to take care of two households following a divorce. Hence, it is necessary to spend every penny carefully. If there are some finances left behind, invest wisely. You could also seek assistance of a financial expert on this issue. In case, you are caught up in debts, you might need to work towards rebuilding your credit and credit counsellor could help you with this.

4. What Statistics Say: Also, if your financial condition looks very poor after your divorce, do not worry. According to statistics, although most of the men have to work hard towards rebuilding their finances in the first few months of divorce, they subsequently end up becoming richer than what they were during their married life. In short, your divorce can make you richer. So, instead of worrying about your loss, its time you got down to work!

The Last Word

Today, a lot of support groups are working for the justice of men who are denied child custody and visitation. Even the media have started to write about the financial plight faced by men in divorce. So, we could only hope that with time, men would be treated more fairly. Until then, they might have to be courageous and rebuild their lives with due efforts and patiently wait for the justice to be served.