Positive women know personal boundaries are vital to protect them mentally and emotionally and physically. The situations and people we experience daily can often be negative so staying safe is vital to becoming and remaining positive.

When someone is threatened or violated, you may hear them say, "He got in my space," or "She stepped over the line." If you were to ask where the person's space is or where the line is, you probably would not here a definitive answer since those are just things we say in that situation. Positive women know there is a line and they know exactly where it is. They also know where their personal space is and how to protect it; they have to.

Here is how to determine where the preverbal "line" is and where your personal space stops and starts.

Finding the Line:

• Picture yourself standing in the center of a giant bagel.
• Now visualize a line 18-24 inches out that circles you. This is the outside of the bagel.
• That is the "line."

Determining your Space:

• The space between you and the line is your personal space.
• If you are not sure how to know if you have an 18 inch or 24 inch bagel, notice at what point someone you are uncomfortable with gives you the creeps - when you start to lean back or take a step back.
• Some cultures are comfortable with less of a personal space cushion just as survivors of physical attack may have a more expansive cushion meaning they keep people further away than others might.

How to use your newly defined line and space to your advantage:

• People, places and situations which are acceptable to you are allowed in your personal space.
• You have every legal and moral right to protect it and you are responsible for protecting it. That is not to say if you get attacked you are at fault. The fault always lies with the attacker.
• Anything you have deemed unacceptable is outside the line and here is where enforcing personal boundaries comes into play.

You must determine what you will say and or do when someone crosses the line or gets in your space, before it happens, so that you are prepared. You must also be willing to carry out your plan or personal boundaries are useless.

Positive women learn to establish and enforce personal boundaries and that is why they are safer than other women as well as being happier and healthier. There are some critical things to consider when establishing and enforcing. Stay tuned for more articles on those topics!