Everyone has an idea of what a professional phone sex call is like. "Hi sexy, I've been waiting for you all night...." as the Visa bill is charged up at $2.99 per minute. What exactly is the cost/benefit of all that heavy breathing and visa authorizations?

Well, having been in the industry for 4 years, having participated in over 5,000 phone sex calls, I have an opinion. Read on if you are curious - I already know you think you have the answer. So did I, 4 years ago. I was wrong.

First, lets look at phone sex itself. This is the safest and most convenient kind of sex. It can last as long as you want, or be over in less than 2 minutes, no strings attached. Callers can remain anonymous, can explore fantasies they wouldn't dare admit to, and confess anything to a sympathetic ear. They can ask for advice about personal situations. Callers can experiment with outlandish fetishes without committing to anything, or catching anything! I could go on and on, suffice it to say phone sex is easy, secretive, and has no real restrictions on what is 'allowed'.

What about married men calling for phone sex on their way home from work, or during Thursday Ladies Night Outs? What about them? Are they cheating? No, Phone sex is not cheating. Phone sex is entertainment, and it is much better entertainment than TV or Porn - its interactive and alot more 'effective'.

Are they perverted? They may be, but not because of the phone sex call. Millions of men are happy in their 'vanilla' relationships, loving and caring for their partners. Some of those men secretly crave some 'sexual spice' but would never risk offending their partner with their desires. Some men are ashamed of their fantasies. Some just don't know exactly what it is they are sexually looking for. There are deep rooted questions, "Am I gay?" "Is BDSM for me?" "Crossdressing?" These kinky fantasies just don't go away, so the man either quietly keeps them bottled up inside,until he withdraws from the 'vanilla' relationship and seeks a spicy live partner. Or, on a safer note, calls up a phone sex service and in 15 minutes relieves the craving and gets back to his happy vanilla self.

Are phone sex callers looking for relationships with the phone sex women? No. The only kind of relationship they want is to find someone nice to listen to who can quickly get at the 'itch', who doesn't rob them, and has a great imagination. Its about the same way women feel about a great hair stylist - someone who just knows what she wants, will style her hair beautifully, taking risks now and then, and not charge too much.

Is phone sex therapy? Yes. Think about it, there is a friendly ear paid to listen and encourage conversation, without any competing 'issues' to distract from the conversation. Women have girlfriends for support and listening. Men don't have that same kind of luxury. During a phone sex call, many men talk through stressful events of the day. Sometimes they ask for feedback and opinions, sometimes they don't. Besides the fact that 'sex' is a great stress relief, the actual conversation relieves stress and refreshes the mind and body.

The conversations are what I believe wives are jealous of, and that is where the 'cheating' accusation comes in. Wives want their husbands to talk to them, not some stranger. Of course, that is what makes relationship strong and healthy. However, how many wives will LISTEN as well as a phone sex operator? How many women encourage their men to speak on ANY topic, wearing and doing anything he pleases, agreeing to play along with the fantasy, and not change the topic? I know that if more wives and girlfriends could actually do that, there would be alot less phone sex calls made.

Phone sex is not cheating.