You and your ex broke up because...

Sometimes it's hard to decipher exactly why the breakup had to even happen. It's not fun to think about, and it's easy to accuse yourself over and over again over reasons for why it happened. Whether or not an official reason was given for the breakup, you know that it happened. One of the hardest things to do at this point is to accept it. Accept the breakup. Even agree with it. It sounds strange, but sending your ex a handwritten note accepting the breakup and acknowledging the reasons you and your ex gave for the breakup will be a positive thing. It's the best way to start getting over the tense emotions.

Addressing the tension.

After you've accepted the breakup, it's probably best to give things a few weeks before trying to communicate with your ex. Maybe you think you're ready now, but just be sure to give it at least a short while before another attempt at communication. Give it time to cool off, to set your emotions straight. Address the tension inside, and let go of the hurt. Take time to think about the problems, and forgive.

Approaching the relationship in a new light.

At this point, you probably don't know whether or not your ex will be willing to get back together. By now it's probably time for you to try to see what's possible. Contact your ex. Be humble and respectful, and ask to get together for coffee or a casual lunch. If you end having coffee together, be sure to put the focus on having a good time and having fun conversations. Don't talk about the breakup or argue.