Objectivity, Forgiveness, and Effectiveness Go Hand-In-Hand

We all have past experiences, emotional baggage, and beliefs. They color our view of the world and what happens.

When an act of nature, like a thunderstorm, interrupts our plans we see it as unavoidable. But when another person does something, or forgets to do something, and it affects our plans, we get angry. We may want to yell at them, or get revenge. But does it change the outcome? Does it really change that person?

In his book "Linchpin" Seth Godin writes:

If you accept that human beings are difficult to change, and embrace (rather than curse) the uniqueness that everyone brings to the table, you'll navigate the world with more bliss and effectiveness. And make better decisions, too.

Well said! But how do we do this?

What has helped me tremendously in this area is understanding the four personality types. What do they do that annoys me?

Blue/fun seekers are often late for appointments (or forget them entirely)
Green/analytical people are often overly critical, and won't express feelings
Red/money-motivated people are bossy and inconsiderate
Yellow/nurturers may change plans at the last minute to help someone else, ignoring their own needs

Once you learn about the personality types, you recognize that people just have a certain nature. As Seth points out, you rarely can change the person. The act of trying to do so, and letting them rent space in your head, just puts you in a negative state of mind.

If we think other people have intentionally set out to ruin our day, we're wasting our time and putting way too much emphasis on the event. We're looking at the event through our filters. Instead, try looking at the event objectively. Can you learn anything from it? Was there a silver lining at all? Then just forgive the person and let it go!

Negative states of mind destroy effectiveness. Negative thoughts creative a negative reality (remember the Law of Attraction? What you focus on expands.)

With time and effort, you may be able to work with the people close to you to change the behaviors both of you have that drive each other crazy. And of course if you supervise or mentor someone and their behavior is hurting their effectiveness, you need to let them know. But the people you aren't close to? Don't bother trying to change them. Change how You react. It's the only thing you have control over!

Take control of your mental state. Make it positive. Don't let it wander into negative territory and wallow there. You won't like the result!