At some time in our lives, we have all been in negative or uncomfortable situations with other people. Knowing how to deal with the situation is very helpful in reducing stress caused by the circumstance.

Situation 1-- arguing as a customer. Sometimes situations happen where a customer must argue with an employee at a business. For example, I went through the drive-up window at a deli that I frequent and ordered a bowl of soup which I order frequently. The employee taking my order charged me a dollar more than what I always paid. I stated to her that she charged the wrong price. She wouldn't budge. I went inside, asked her to go outside with me and look at the menu board where the correct price was stated. She still wouldn't refund the overcharge. I eventually obtained the refund from her manager, but it created a negative situation.

To change this situation from negative to positive, I took into consideration that the employee was not singling me out. She was doing what she thought she was supposed to do, and the overcharge was not personal. She got the carry-out price mixed up with the dine-in price and charged what she believed to be correct, even after seeing the correct carry-out price on the menu board. The next time she waited on me, I treated her like the incident never happened. I was friendly and made small talk which put her at ease and let her know that I did not have a problem with her personally. The tension slipped away, and what had been negative turned positive.

Situation 2—feeling put down by another person. Asking another person for help should be pleasant, but a person that is on the defensive can make the experience negative. It is easy to misinterpret a person’s communication, and even easier to become offended by what we perceive is a put down. The person asking for help might come across as being demanding which puts the other person on the defensive. The person that is being asked for help might be rude to the other person, making that person feel inferior.

The way to turn this situation from negative to positive is to smile and complement the other person. It is very difficult to snarl at someone that is complementary and nice. This lets the person know that the desire to argue is not there, and takes the bite out of the bark.

These situations are just examples of the kind of things that can happen with other people.

Five things that will help reverse a negative situation:

1. Sometimes people don't realize how they sound to others, and they are not actually being rude.

2. Miscommunication is the most common reason for misunderstandings.

3. Think about the situation carefully before responding. Often what is said is not what is meant.

4. Talk to the person in a non-confrontational way. Confronting a person always creates negativity.

5. Agree to work things out. Put the issues on the table, discuss, resolve and move on.

Most of the time all it takes is patience and willingness to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.