There are a lot of things you can do if you want your ex back, but the most important thing to do is to stop digging the hole any deeper. You did screw up and get dumped by your ex, didn't you? So it's pretty obvious you need help.

This means you stop whatever lame things you had planned - like calling your ex once every five minutes, and trying to show how desperate and lonely you are, and how much pain the separation is causing you. None of this helps, and in fact, makes things a lot worse! Read on to find out exactly what it is that you need to do to get your ex back....

• Clean up the mess...

You can start by picking up the shattered pieces of your life and getting back to a normal schedule. Get yourself a complete makeover - new look, new clothes, and a new personality. Radiate sunshine and happiness, go out and have fun and enjoy life. And let your ex know that you're having a heck of a time all by yourself.

Your life is probably a mess right now anyways, because you have been so depressed, but you need to clean up all of the mess around you inside and out. Clean out your mind, clean out your heart, and clean up your physical appearance as well as your relationships with others, your job, and anything else related.

• Make your ex believe the breakup was fantastic...

If your ex thinks that breaking up was the best thing that happened to you, then your ex will want to get back with you, to inflict some more pain on you. It may sound funny and nutty, but that's how it works. And believe me, it works. What happens, basically, is that your ex will wonder why you are so happy, and will think that maybe you no longer love them.

Your ex won't be able to stand that thought, so your ex will try and see you to find out exactly how you feel.

• The Proactive approach...

You might also want to consider a more proactive approach, and start doing things which your ex loves, but which you never gave much thought to. Things like jogging and sports and art and stuff.

Once your ex finds that you're getting up early in the morning just so you can jog and show that you're willing to put in a lot more effort into the relationship, then the ice melts and you'll be able to sit down and talk about it and work out things.

Also not to underestimated is the power that close friends and relatives have to change your ex's opinion about you. Maybe your ex thinks that it won't work, but once everyone your ex knows start pushing to give you another chance, it won't be long before your ex caves in. So start buttering up all your ex's close friends and family members.

• Communication can break or make things...

Lastly, think about being a bit more communicative. The main reason your relationship broke up was because you were unable to listen to what your ex wanted, and/or could not convey your problems and issues. Lay out all your cards on the table. Ask your ex to do the same.

Once both of you know everything that has been going on, it starts making sense. End of the day, a relationship is about co-operation and compromise and helping each other out.

If your ex knows what you need help with, and is willing to tell you what you can help out with - it makes a world of difference. The arguments and fights you had will start to seem trivial.