Being self-aware in the workplace or in personal relationships is an essential component of ensuring your success and satisfaction. What does it mean if a person is self aware? What is their typical behavior at work and at home? How well do they communicate?

The Self-Awareness Model

The model I use includes a large number of personality characteristics. We begin with the need to actually understand who you are and your impact on others. We then proceed to the notion that there will be an accurate self-assessment by the individual. When they self-assess, some people might have an inflated self estimation while others might undervalue themselves. Inaccurate self-assessment can often result in inappropriate interpersonal and workplace behaviors.

Being able to understand the impact you have on other people when you do and say things is an important part of self-awareness. Some people have very little interpersonal sensitivity and are quite often surprised when people are hurt or offended by what they said. Some people cherish forthrightness as an important personality trait and what they mean by this is they believe being honest and open is more important than being sensitive and diplomatic.

Some of the Key Features of Self-Awareness

A self-aware person is usually a good team member. They are thoughtful, generous, and sharing people. They know when to talk and when to be quiet. They tend to be good collaborators. People typically respect them because of the sensitivity, empathy and consideration. People who are self-aware understand their responsibilities to their colleagues and their friends, family and loved ones. They tend to be trustworthy. They show consideration and they communicate well with others.

In terms of communicating, it is possible that some people who are self-aware forget the two major strategies in communication. These are paraphrasing for meaning and perceptual (or emotional) checks. Both of them require that a person be genuinely interested in who is communicating and what is being communicated. To get the full meaning of a person's communication, we check carefully that we understand what they are saying (paraphrase for meaning). This shows consideration and respect for the person communicating in the value of the content of their communication. For many people, communication is an opportunity to express either overtly or covertly their feelings and emotional state. When one engages in perceptual checks, one is giving credence to the emotionality of the communicator and showing genuine interest in how they feel. Both of these strategies characterize a person who is self-aware and generous in interactions.

Self-aware people recognize the importance of integrity in their relationships. They are likely to be interested in building bonds, showing loyalty, helping others to develop and grow, being empathic and considerate. Think of the converse, that is, if people who are unaware or have inaccurate self-assessment do the opposite this is what you have. These people use others as means to an end and the value of the relationship is subordinate to what they can get out of others. They are less interested in loyalty, empathy, and team building than they are in personal success and achievement. I know that I'm overstating the case but a good strategy to characterize the importance of personal and interpersonal dimensions is to do some converse analysis.

Self-Awareness and Stress

I don't know any specific research which suggests that people who are not self-aware have high levels of stress but I am pretty certain that the people who work with, or have relationships with, a person who is unaware will have elevated levels of stress. When you consider some of the negative characteristics of being with a person who is not self-aware it is easy to imagine the impact on others. People will feel frustrated, tense, and stressed. Being used as a means to an end, showing no loyalty or empathy, being uninterested in building strong relationship bonds, and being more concerned with their own success than others’ feelings and well-being will inevitably produce high levels of interpersonal stress and workplace stress. The question I have not answered is this: “How does one help an unaware person become more self-aware?”