I think that most people would agree that plans made in a hurry are rarely the best plans. It takes time to consider all the factors, weigh options, and make good decisions. When working through the complexities of divorce, there is so much to think about and so many things to consider that frequently issues are overlooked simply because divorcing couples have not taken the time necessary to work out a comprehensive plan. Part of the problem may be the method they have chosen to formalize their divorce-litigation by lawyers or mediation.

When you place a lawyer on retainer you are paying a fee based on the minimum hours it will take to draw up documents, do interviews, appearances, and all other work a lawyer will do to complete your divorce. If your divorce begins to take up more time than those average minimum hours, you will incur a per hour fee that can be hundreds of dollars. So, when you are literally "under the gun" to arrive at a cohesive and workable divorce agreement in the least amount of hours, you are bound to overlook critical issues. But couples who choose mediation are not under that pressure because their mediator is paid an agreed upon fee which is not based on hours but on the services required to complete your divorce and the necessary agreements. This way, time works for you-not against you.

We are approaching a time when the financial provisions of your divorce agreement become critical-back to school time. When you have enough time to plan for all the expenses that come with your children's education, you will be ready for the variety of fees and costs that happen to all parents before their children return to school. If you've been rushed through your divorce agreement, you face endless battles on who will pay for your children's expenses. Since your children will return to school at least 12 times, planning for sports fees, school physicals, and music lessons just to name a few, is vital.

With a caring and skilled mediator, you can take the time to determine the yearly cost of things like book rental, meals, and uniforms (if necessary) and plan for them in your divorce agreement. It may be that you and your spouse will want to split yearly fees or alternate years in which you will be responsible. In mediation, with out an hourly fee, you and your spouse can explore options and figure out the best way to handle these issues. In addition to yearly fees, there are many expenses that are extraordinary like class trips, prom dresses and expenses, and group vacations. You should both consider what you can mutually afford and be sure and bring your children into the discussion. These types of extracurricular expenses will come up throughout your children's educational life and leaving the financial responsibility for them is inviting conflict and drama. The worst consequence of such conflict is its effect on your children. A thoughtful divorce agreement that is detailed enough to cover for contingencies circumvents future arguments and has the foresight to let your children know what expenses you find reasonable.

The point to be made here is that all these discussions need time. A comprehensive divorce agreement can easily triple the cost of your divorce when a lawyer is billing you by the hour. In mediation you pay one fee, no matter how long it takes to arrive at an agreement. You will find that without the pressure of high hourly rates, it is easier to arrive at an agreement that covers every phase of your life and the lives of your children.