"Separation" and "Divorce" are highlighted words in today's dictionary. We are all familiar with their meaning and, as it seems, know that it can happen to the best of us. "Splitting up" is an awful experience in every way. It is financially draining, and scars an individual's emotions for a long time, sometimes even permanently.

When two people decide to break off their relationship, there usually are many painful consequences, especially, if children are involved. They too suffer in many ways. For them it can be difficult to deal with their parents, who often disagree on educational topics, money issues, and the ensuing custody battle can be horrifying. These children often need counseling and may still end up resenting one or both of their parents.

There are many brochures, web sites, and support groups working with single parents or children who are suffering because of the family break-up. That is wonderful, except, who is looking after a parent who suddenly loses his/her child(ren)?

There are various reasons why a parent can become separated from his/her child(ren). Just to name a few: restraining orders, long-term rehabilitation, one of the parents is moving away, or the children turn against the parent.

Parents who cannot be with their children can go through the same grieving stages as an individual who has lost a loved one. At first, they are in denial and cannot believe that this is really happening to them. They love their children and that should count for something. In some cases, the deserted parents feel ashamed and withdraw from any existing social life. They will become quite isolated, at least until they reach the next stage in their grieving process. Anger is a powerful emotion. A grieving person may become furiously upset at those people who provoked this painful situation and even the world in general. They have the impression that everyone around them thinks they are a bad parent and that they made mistakes that lead to the separation. In other words: they feel guilty, misunderstood and helpless, which makes them even angrier.

If the lonely parents are religious, they may try to make a deal with God. Maybe if they fulfill some promises, God will return their children to them. They will invent vast promises and the finest intentions, hoping that their offspring will re-establish contact. They anticipate and pray, but if their bargaining chips do not change the outcome of their situation, anger, sadness and mourning may slowly push them into a depression.

With their children still alive, grieving parents will often not come to closure, nor will they ever be able to accept their faith. They will continue to fight for the love of their kids, even if it takes decades.