Listening - Making Communication Work For You

We have all heard the old adage "You have two ears and one mouth so you should listen twice as much as you speck." This is especially true in all forms of communication which involves two or more people. Learning to listen to what is being said is an important part of any two way communication when information is being shared.

This sounds easy but in many cases it is not. It takes practice and alertness to ensure you are truly listening to others. Our minds work much faster than our ability to hear which often causes us to focus on multiple topics and not on what the speaker is saying. You may already be planning your response and miss the point he is trying to make. Even worse you may be day dreaming what you are going to do after your conversation. It is easy to loose track of what the person is saying and make wrong assumptions based on incomplete information.

Here are a few examples of typical mistakes made by listeners that I have observed over the years.

I once was assisting a first line supervisor conduct an accident review with an employee involved in an on the job injury. The supervisor asked the employee to explain what had happen. As the employee was explaining the accident the supervisor kept interrupting and trying to finish the employee sentences. The employee was becoming frustrated and beginning to hold back. I had to politely suggest to the supervisor to let the employee tell his story and listen to what he was saying.

Another common instance of not listening occurred during times when I was interviewing employees and/or interviewing potential new hires. During the interview when I asked a question the person would try to answer it before I had time to finish asking it. Often they would give me the wrong answer because they did not understand the question. They assumed they knew what the final question was before I asked it. Not only did they miss the question but it is rude to interrupt a speaker whether you truly understand the question or not. Plus, you can imagine my impression of the potential new hire candidate.

In other instances I have seen people "daydream" or thinking about something else and not listening to the speaker and be embarrassed by questions such as "Larry, what do you think about what he said?" Yes, that was me and I had got caught day dreaming by my boss and I did not have a clue as to what the speaker had said. I had tuned him out right after he began to speak.
Some of common distractions to listening are:

- You already know the topic or answer.
- You have a lot of other things going on in your life.
- The speaker is boring and/or rambling.
- Your environment is distracting you.
- Your watch or clock.
- Other noises or conversations taking place around you.
- You are physically tired.

These are just a few examples of the things that can cause you not to listen to a person speaking to you and cause you to misunderstand the message being conveyed to you by the speaker. The fact is you can control each one of these distraction by making it a priority to listen to the person speaking.
Listening takes effort and focus to occur. In today's busy and noisy world there are too many distraction trying to get your attention. It is up to you to make the effort to listen. If you do, you will find your ability to communicate will grow exponentially.

Larry Gray. I was born and grew up in Eastern North Carolina in the small rural town of Aurora. After marrying my high school sweetheart I moved to Lakeland, Florida where I spent my adult years raising a beautiful family and working in the Citrus Industry, selling real estate (http://larrygraysells.com) and being a writer wannabe (http://growingupinauroranc.com/).

Come join me on this great adventure, remembering the past and building the future