One of the hardest things for humans to do is to let go. That can be letting go of your job and finding a new one, letting go of a friend who isn't good for you, letting go of a family member that has passed away, letting go of stress or pressure, or letting go of a partner, whether this is a relationship you are currently in or one that is over but you can't move on from.
People like to hold onto negative thoughts; we use them to cement our bitterness and convince ourselves that all men are idiots, or I can't find another job as I'm not good enough and so on.
The trouble is, the disappointment, blame, bitterness and anger affects us, and MOSTLY US. They are self-destructive thoughts and actions. Hanging onto these negative thoughts and resentment transpires into other relationships and life events. Ever heard of the phrase emotional baggage? Well that's exactly what I'm talking about!
SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Get rid of the suffering. Unfortunately negative energy stays with us, especially when we are in an emotional state of conflict. We hold on to our anger and fear the most when we most need to.
Write down all your negative thoughts about the situation. Read them 24 hours later to try and see them in a more rational light. You must be strong and make an effort to lose these negative emotions and look to the options and possibilities around you.
A problem shared is a problem halved. This saying is so true. Confront what you are feeling and talk about it. If you feel you can't talk to a friend or family member about it, then write a letter, or a blog or an email. Don't send it.... But it will make you feel better.
Forgive yourself. What are you feeling guilty for? Have you caused damage or anger? If you can learn to forgive others who have caused you anger and pain, then you can forgive yourself for you actions too.
Work on your self-esteem. Letting go of someone or something you think you have is very hard particularly if you have low self-esteem. Ask yourself, what are you actually letting go of? Was the friendship good for you? Was the relationship actually how you pictured it and imagined it in your mind? Stop... think about a healthy relationship or situation. What would that look like; imagine yourself in it and being happy.
Finally... learn to let go of unhealthy attachments to people, things and situations.
Become happy independently. You cannot depend on others to give you love to make you happy. Give yourself the love. What are your needs and expectations? Write down what you need from yourself (not others) to make you happy. Work towards an inter-dependent relationship.
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