Has your relationship collapsed and everything you do seems to push your ex boyfriend further away? Are you at a loss at to what you can do to get him back?

If this describes your situation then here are some tips (from a man who knows) that will greatly increase your chances of a successful reconciliation.

I assume that you are serious and sincere about saving or rekindling your relationship, but the problem you are experiencing centers on your feelings of anxiety about what to do to get him back. In turn this worry is causing you to behave in a manner which is actually forcing him to pull further away.

For example, are you continually trying to contact him by phone, e-mail and text messaging - perhaps at all hours of the night and day? It is normal for most people (but especially men) to feel stifled and resist this kind of pressure. Perhaps you are also trying to make him feel sorry for you? If you are doing any of these things, then you must stop.

Struggling against human nature is a waste of energy and emotionally draining. If you continue with this approach you will only aggravate your current situation. So if you are genuine about doing what is necessary to get him back then you need to stop the incessant calls and attempts at sympathy immediately. Instead, follow the strategy I am about to outline. Trust me!

A completely fresh approach is needed for you to stand any chance at all to get him back. Start by breaking off contact for a while and do your own thing. During this break without communication, you have an opportunity to focus on ways that you can improve your own personal life. This will prove to be far more productive in the long run than focusing on the relationship issues which are monopolizing your thoughts at the moment.

Do not under-estimate the difficulty - this break in contact will be a challenging time for you. It is going to require some serious self discipline to prevent you from returning to your old ways, but persevere, it will be worth it.

During this time without contact, your ex boyfriend will become unsure as to what you are doing or feeling. Doubts will set in. Chances are you will become something of a mystery to him and he will experience a shift in how he feels about you. As you will no longer be actively pursuing him, this strange new aspect of your nature can work in your favor. He may start to actually miss you - something that was never going to happen when you were smothering him.

There are many aspects of life where we can use our strengths in a positive way to solve a problem. In this case the key to repairing the break up is to work with human nature rather than attempting to go against it.

If you were initially at a loss wondering how to get him back, you should now have a basic understanding of how best to avoid some common mistakes. Once you implement these initial suggestions you can restore a balance to your relationship and allow your ex to remember why he loved you in the first place. If it is meant to be, you will come out on top and you will indeed get him back.