Wait, what is that in the mirror? Is that a GRAY HAIR??? Congratulations! You are now officially an "older adult". Only problem is, you're also a SINGLE older adult. So what on earth are you to do when it comes to dating? Forget the hype and everything (or MOST everything) your mother told you about dating and read on for some advice from someone who's been there.

For most people, they begin dating in their teens, meet Mr. Right, fall in love, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. Or so the story goes. That's what Hollywood would like for you to believe. The cold hard reality of life is, things don't always go that smoothly. Not everyone gets the dream wedding, dream house with the picket fence, the minivan, the 2.5 kids, and the family dog. At least not in the beginning. Once a person turns 25 or even 30, and they're still single, they begin to panic. Why? Because they believe that they are "damaged goods" or even too old to attract anyone anymore. If they've been married and subsequently divorced, the dating scene seems even bleaker and more frightening than it did before. It's true that dating at 25, 35, or even older is a lot different than it was at 16. You're no longer thrust into a school setting everyday where it's possible to meet all different kinds of people. Rather, your only options are your job and maybe church if you're a regular attendee. Or are they? With the 21st century has come an explosion of online dating services, the majority of which can be labeled as credible. Some are free, and some aren't. The trick is to find what works for you. If you are looking for casual dating, there are sites just for that. If you are looking for something more serious and long-term, there are sites for that as well. The main thing in any venue, is to get yourself out there. You aren't going to find Prince Charming by sitting at home, because chances are he doesn't know your address. At least not yet.

If you decide to give online dating a try, there are some things you need to know in order to be successful as well as to keep yourself safe. The first thing you are required to do with any dating site is to create a profile. For most people this seems like a daunting task, but it really isn't. Take your time and really make your profile shine, just don't include any sensitive personal info like your address or phone number. Most sites frown upon giving out your email address, and some sites even prohibit it. Include your age, gender, what you're looking for, body type, you know, the basic stuff. When it comes to writing about yourself, be as honest as possible without scaring people off. Sure, it helps if someone knows you have red hair, but you don't have to tell them that you underwent a year's worth of chemo and it was all blonde before it fell out. That piece of info can come later, once you're in a serious, committed relationship. It's not necessary to be specific about what you do for a living, as most sites provide options you can list that give other people an idea about what field you're in. You can also keep your salary info confidential, if you so choose. The most important thing is to write a brief but honest profile that describes you as well as what (or who) you're looking for. Once that's done, the next step is the personal meeting.

Once someone has contacted you, or you've contacted someone, a face to face meeting is the next step. Plan this meeting accordingly. Always agree to meet in a public place, and NEVER give the other person your address in the beginning. If they balk at the thought of meeting in public, then you should balk at the idea of getting involved with them. Let your friends and/or family members know where you're going and when they should expect you back home. Once you get home, double check to make sure no one has followed you. If you feel that the person you just met is indeed following you home, call the police from your cell phone and keep driving to the nearest police station. While this isn't intended to make you paranoid, it IS intended to keep you safe. While most men on online dating sites are genuine, nice guys, there are still the select few out there who aren't. Always keep this in mind when it comes to using online dating services.

Other options for older, single adults are church, work, and even going back to school. If you're a regular attendee of a church, then meeting someone there means that you both have at least one thing in common. Work relationships are a fragile thing these days, as some employers frown upon it while others downright prohibit it. While no one should be able to dictate who you can and cannot date, work relationships can pose problems both personally as well as professionally, especially if the relationship doesn't work out. Use discretion with these types of relationships and always consult your company handbook for guidelines on such issues. Last but not least, taking a class is yet another way of meeting someone who is like-minded. However, don't take a class for something you hate just for the sole purpose of meeting someone of the opposite sex. In order for this to work, you need to find something that you would love to learn more about. People are attracted by confidence, as well as a certain amount of authority on any given subject. It doesn't matter if the subject is diamond-cutting, engine repair, or how to raise tropical fish, if you are confident and knowledgeable about the subject matter with a like-minded person, things are bound to get interesting. And at the very least, you've made a friend. What could be wrong with that?