Now that is an old cliché. So I had thought for a long time -- an old cliché.
But that started to change when I began to dance the tango in earnest. This dance form, the South American version that is -- the social dance with the classical flavor -- is one of the best metaphors I have come across for relationships. Let me explain.
This dance is primarily a conversation between the partners. No words, just movements. Around a theme, typically provide by the music - just like a common factor that starts up any relationship. One starts the conversation, the other joins in and makes it engaging - whatever the level of that conversation maybe.
Simple. Aha... not so. That was my first lesson. Learning to listen. If one is not a good listener, particularly of the subtle moves, no conversation is about to ensue. Right? Also lesson one in Relationships 101 - listen first if you wish to connect. I really had to work hard on that and succeeded only when I released some old ideas and beliefs about dancing (read 'relationships').
Then there is this thing about the 'axis' - learning to be on one's own axis, moving the axis, giving, shifting, holding and so on. During the entire dance one is always aware of the relationship of the two 'axes'. To me this is about taking responsibility for ourselves in a relationship, and always being aware how my actions affect the other - pulling, pushing, controlling, leaning..... The call is neither to allow oneself to be carried, nor to push. Give and receive. Lead and follow. Initiate and respond. Don't take over. The conversation then gets interesting. The partners will from time to time create a common axis, or weave around the others. The elegance is in the intricacies of these weaves.
When we create that relationship, new depths are revealed. One takes a new and complex turn. It may throw the other off for a moment, but herein is the challenge to grow and continue the conversation at a yet deeper level. As long as we listen, and remain tuned in to our connection, it is hard to go wrong. But that certainly won't take place if we are being sloppy, or lazy or unmindful. See any connection with relationships?
And as we continue, we learn to savor the dance as we do any precious relationship. It is inviting, fun, warm and invigorating. Sometimes passionate and alluring, one may take the conversation wherever one chooses to. And there is always more to discover. Make sure the music that both partners enjoy is still playing. If one tunes out, that would be the end of the conversation, the dance, the relationship.
If you are good at one chances are you'll be good at the other. As someone said, "tango is a three minute love affair".
Tango anyone?
About this Author
Malabika Shaw grew up in India and spent the first 25 years of her career in the management profession as a trainer and human resource developer. She now devotes her time to the teaching and practice of Energy Healing Arts. She offers a globally available Mentorship Program for Personal Empowerment.
Malabika is a tango dancer.
Website: http://www.VisionWholistic.net
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