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With low unemployment and plenty of "cash" the relationship with money is one of, "it is there and I can do as I please." However, with high unemployment and "cash" restraints then the relationship with money changes! Worrying about paying the bills and repayment of loans and credit card balances becomes the focus of attention causing conflict within relationships.
What can be done to help?
Often like food, spending is used to comfort creating a temporary feel good factor. Addressing your emotions such as loneliness, fear, upset, anger, frustration, shame, guilt and of being ignored will allow you to start of take control.
To help deal with your emotions write down what you are feeling. Start to understand your relationship, ask yourself lots of questions.
- Why do you spend?
- What is missing in your life?
This can often be a painful process, so take your time, and seek support from a family member, friend or even a priest, if you can.
Understanding your relationship with money will start you on the path to changing it. Look at what you have written, how does it make you feel now. What can you do to change the situation?
- What will help you feel loved, less lonely?
- Can you let go of anger and frustration?
- Do you need to manage your finances better?
- Will improved finance management take away the fear, do you feel out of control?
Knowing what triggers the feelings will allow you to deal with them. Now start to work out your strategies for spending.
- What makes you decide to go out the shops?
- What actions do you take once you are at the shops?
- How do you justify buying something?
- Do you feel guilty for spending money, and then go and spend more to make you feel better?
- Do you have arguments with family members about over spending?
Keep asking questions until you know why and how you decide you are going to spend, consciously or unconsciously. Look at all the situations you encounter around finances and money. How can you resolve any conflicts there may be?
There are other aspects of money management, such as someone who does not spend money at all, or who refuses to deal with money because it is a dirty word and are always getting themselves in trouble for not paying their bills on time.
Regardless whether your are a hoarder or spender your relationship with money, can always improve, and by improving your financial relationship you have the potential to improve all aspects of your life.
Do not beat yourself up, just be patient and keep working on your relationship with money, seek support. It is your relationship so take control!
About this Author
Karen Bashford of Lifestyle Facilitation for personal and financial relationship coaching, encouraging clients to learn about relationships and then to understand their relationships with money, self, family and friends giving them the tools to be able to improve, rebuild or let go of their relationships.
http://www.lifestylefacilitation.co.uk
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Karen_Bashford
