Do you find yourself getting upset because your boyfriend looks at other women? Do you wander if it means that he doesn't love you and is not really committed to you? Do you wish you knew why he did it and what to do to stop it? Thousands of women just like you wonder this same thing every day, so here's a possible solution for you.

Men look, that's a given. If you read any book about how guys are in a relationship then they will tell you that a guy is 'visual' that means he likes to look at other women. But it can be disturbing when you're out with your one and only and he's ogling other women. And this is made worse when you and he are in a committed relationship and that doesn't seem to stop it.

So what does it mean and can you stop it from happening?

First of all let's look at your definition of commitment. Does commitment to you mean you and he are exclusive and that includes no looking? If it does then you're okay. But I bet you haven't discussed the finer details of what commitment means to you and to your one and only.

For him it may be that as long as he doesn't 'touch' then looking is fine. For some women this is okay because at the end of the day they know he comes home to them. But if you are in a committed relationship one of the first things you needed to have done is iron out exactly what is and what isn't acceptable to you both- and you both need to agree.

What to watch out for.

In any negotiation of this nature you need to watch out for compromising when it's really important to you. So let's say he says he will not look whilst you're around but when he isn't with you he is free to flirt and ogle as he chooses.

What do you do then?

What you don't do is agree to this if it really isn't acceptable to you. But be warned- this could be a deal breaker for him so tread carefully.

So does it mean he's not committed to you if he insists on looking at other women despite you telling him it hurts your feelings?

It depends.

It depends on how he does it, what he says to you when you bring it up and how you bring it up- and lastly whether you sat down and talked about what was acceptable behaviour at the beginning of your relationship.

For arguments sake let's say you've discussed it and even though he sincerely doesn't want to do it, he does it any way, when this happens then don't react- in fact make a game of it.

You see there are some guys who just don't like to be told what they can and cannot do in a relationship and pigheadedly will look just to wind you up. So encourage him to look. What I mean is - in a non defensive, non insecure and non jealous way, point out women as you walk and say 'Do you find her attractive?' or 'What do you find attractive about her?'. After a while the pigheaded guy will give up because it no longer winds you up.

So though it doesn't necessarily mean that if a guy looks at other women he's not committed to you, if it hurts then try the technique I've outlined, if that doesn't work then seriously ask yourself is you are willing to put up with his actions over the long term.

Hope that helps.