There are enough loose threads and half baked explanations just hanging out there which would make anyone suspicious. It's gone on long enough so now it is time to clear the air.

But when you do confront your spouse on whether they are having an extramarital affair, they give you the whole righteous anger act. How dare you accuse them of such a thing, are you deliberately trying to start an argument or worse destroy the marriage? They are furious and storm out of the house to cool off.

Now once you get past that emotional tidal wave you start doing a little reviewing and to your knowledge they never did answer the question directly. It could mean that they are hiding something or that are really offended because it is not true.

To get a clearer picture, you've got to do some analyzing of your spouse in previous situations. Is this the way they always react when they come face to face with something they believe is false? Or is this a new wrinkle? Only you can answer those questions.

The mistake however that many spouses make when they think their significant other is having an affair is to charge headfirst in full confrontation mode without actually having solid evidence to back it up.

Yes you have sharp instincts that have never let you down before and yes they are telling you that your spouse is cheating but that is not enough. If you can provide no concrete proof like suspicious charges showing up on your credit card statement or finding an article of clothing around the house that you know does not belong to either of you than in reality you really have nothing to go on.

What about late hours at the office? If they have become more regular and the explanation for why seems odd than by all means check it out. But it is still not good enough reason to think your spouse is cheating. It's a tough economy right now and people really are working longer hours just to make it to the next check.

If you let the accusation of adultery fly without being sure of the grounds on which you make the charge than the cheating spouse may be able to turn the tables on you. And if they are not cheating then you have started something which could greatly undermine your marriage.