Each couple enduring a divorce finds at the end of this hurtful process that the future they planned and anticipated is gone.  What they expected, what they dreamed will never be.  This picture of fractured lives shatters a future of hope. 

Healing a fractured bone requires a physical process endured over a defined period.  The result usually provides a healed bone stronger than the original.  This goal is also within reach of all those emotionally fractured.  You can be stronger emotionally in the future, than in the past if you follow a healing process over a defined period.  

When the weight of despair falls heavy on our emotions, the initial tendency is to sit around thinking about the past.  Maybe to remember the good things gone bad then finally focus on how much a loser we really are to let these events occur.   Allowing this state of mind promotes despair, erodes the courage to repair, and encourages self-pity.  

As difficult as these next steps may be they will help you break the sadness shroud.   Also, realize the first steps may be physical but that activity helps provide the strength for emotional recovery.   Emotions can weaken or strengthen us.   Recall a day that is so wonderful emotionally, so soul stirring, so mind elating the effect on you physically is without description.  You can sing, dance all night, and stay awake around the clock without being tired.  

The opposite effect is also true emotions can drag you down physically so the tired feeling pulls you further down the well of despair.   Physical activity can provide a mental and emotional boost that most do not anticipate until they first experience the rush. 

As we begin to repair our hurting heart, we must start with a focus away from our emotional state.  We must provide some break, some act that takes our focus to a new now.  

Step One:  Get up and go outside. Look around at the sky, trees, grass, buildings, cars, people, dogs, cats, and birds, anything that you can see.  Feel the sun, feel the rain, feel the wind on your face, feel any sense your body can touch.  While enjoying this process walk somewhere, anywhere, let your mind absorb this environment.  

Listen to the sounds around you and let them combine with your visual stimulus.  Focus on what brings you the most pleasure and comfort.  Then relax, just relax and enjoy the moment.  You may lapse into the sad state again.  If so, get up and walk anywhere.  

Start a physical reaction to sad moments by immediate physical response to that onset, get up, and move.  Soon this act becomes automatic; soon this act will not be required as periods of sad thoughts diminish. 

Step Two:  Find an actual physical outlet for your emotional energy.  What activity is up to you?  For some a team activity might work, for others individual activities such as running, weight training, bike riding, swimming anything that pushes you physically to your limits will work. 

Focus on improving on any endeavor you chose.  Make this activity a central part of your day and you will anticipate the discipline, dedication, and accomplishment of the effort.  

As these activities progress, you will find the sad periods diminish until they are gone.  There will be a time a memory will surface but you will examine it, put it aside, and move on with your life.  It no longer has the draining emotional drag of the past.  

Step Three:  Physical activity does not repair the damaged heart by itself.  You must mend this part of your emotion with awareness and understanding.  What you feel is something that is not uncommon.   Recall friends or family members who also suffered this type loss and how over time they appeared to be better.  Once you realize that the failure is not a fault of any one but all involved it is easier to accept.  

Once you realize that a failure does not project the future but documents the past it is easier to see a future of your choosing awaits.  Your challenge is to reach out to touch it, feel it, absorb it, and live it.  Put the dedication you developed in your physical activity into the emotional growth you want and it will occur.  There is no magic; however, there is hope and happiness waiting when you expend the effort to find it.