Now that I have your attention, you probably think this post is about
- mailing a package
- wrapping a present
- measuring a quilt
Wrong on all three counts. You have a choice- this depends on your outfit. Will you be wearing a
- skimpy little black dress
- bikini
Flashback five years ago to the Christmas season-
All my Turbo Kick friends are gathered in the gym getting ready for a hard workout. I hear my dear friend and instructor talking about her husband's Christmas party.
M begins with a description of this sexy little black number she purchased specifically for the party. M is tall, with long legs: a fitness instructor's physique- yet when she slithered in her treasured dress, she wished she had gone on that 3-day fast.
Not muffin top material, but not the six-pack image she wanted. Hmmm.. Light bulb moment- she has her oldest get the package tape. Yes, the clear package tape you just used to mail Aunt Helen's her slippers with.
M, very seriously with an eye contact mommy look, tells L to wrap the tape around her as tight as he can. He did. Job done. She slithers on sexy black dress.
M refused to tell us about the tape removal process or her husband's reaction when he discovered he had a package.
What triggered this memory, you ask? This headline in June issue of InStyle magazine. "10 Ways to look great in a bikini."
I have a bikini- I think I look good in a bikini, but who am I not to get a few tips, right? The second entry Get A Lift catches my eye. InStyle tells the reader what to do if she is unable to get a swimsuit with an underwire. Obtain one roll of medical adhesive tape. then...
"Starting under the arm, tape inward, pulling tape taut to lift inward, pulling tape taut to lift and build cleavage, repeat with three strips on each side."
I do give the editors credit. They do warn against Olympic swimming, advising this technique works best for sun bathing.
Again, I thank my plastic surgeon for taking care of this problem, leaving me "tape free."
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