I decided to join a Dating Site the other day.
They sent me this questionnaire and asked me to complete and return it to them so they could find my ideal Match.
Q 1. What type of Partner are you looking for.
It's not that I'm really looking, it's more like I'm blindly groping in the dark. Or is that not allowed on the 1st date.
Q 2. Are you looking for a casual date or a more long term type of commitment.
I don't mind what she's committed so long as it's not been spousal murder. I'm not that comfortable with rape either, but that was never proven! If she just wants casual then no problem, jeans and a T-shirt it is.
Q 3. What was the reason for your last relationship break up.
I stopped wining and dining her, then the RSPCA came and took her away and said it was illegal to have a cat and not feed it.
Q 4. Is sex important to you.
Yes, it's important that she is of the Female sex.
Q 5. Do you like pets.
Yes, but Id rather have a Girlfriend.
Q 6. What would be your ideal date. Any time in December is fine by me.
Q 7. What is your preferred hair type. Mainly on the head and definitely only growing on the outside.
Q 8. Do you like Children.
Yes, but as I have already said I'd prefer a Girlfriend.
Q 9. What are your views on Marriage.
I've been Divorced twice now although I've never been married, so I don't really have any views on Marriage. My Mother was gonna marry once, but my Dad was my Uncle Joe and we never saw the point.
Q 10, What Famous Woman do you most admire and why.
Julia Roberts, because in the Documentary "Pretty Woman" she is hot and not too expensive.
Q 11. How do you know you aren't gay? Because I really fancy my Mum.
Q 12. What do you think is a "Must be" in a future girlfriend for you.
Must be desperate.
Q13. Ok, So you are out on your 1st date.
Your Girlfriend to be, cant get any coverage on her cell phone and she has let her taxi go, she agrees to continue along with the rest of the date. How will you make this a date to remember for her?
Get her really drunk and have her eyebrows tattooed on two spaces above normal. That way she will always look interested in what I have to say.
Q 14. And finally, can you write out your advert for our website.
Mr Right is waiting for you, with great looks, personality and loads of charm. In the meantime give me a go, At least I'll be grateful.
Aiden has been writing articles on-line for over 4 years now. Regularly published in the UK. He runs a couple of small companies Washing Machine Repairs and Pilates Studio
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