So you messed up. You cheated on the most important woman in your life (besides mom), and now you're desperately seeking ways to make things right. What do you do? While there is nothing you can do to erase the fact that you were unfaithful to a woman who loves you, you can, however, change how she feels about you and your future as a couple. At this point, it's up to her to decide whether or not you'll even be a couple. Still, here are some things you can do to try and show her that she means everything to you.

Confess that You've Cheated. It is almost always the best idea for you to fess up about your indiscretions first and foremost. This reduces the chance that your beloved wife will have the painful experience of hearing about your indiscretions from a coworker or friend. It will be really difficult for her to hear from you, but trust me, you are the best person for her to hear it from. Be prepared for your wife to lash out and say some pretty nasty, hurtful things. Try not to judge her too hard, as you are the reason for their pain in the first place.

Tell her where you stand- or at least where you'd like to stand. Choose whether or not to work it out. You both need to sit down and determine how you feel about the strength of the relationship and the chance of it surviving this painful blow. Be advised though, the ball is now in her court, especially if she decides to stay.

Forgive yourself. We know it sounds a little bit cliché, but it is a necessary step for the healing process. You are flawed as a human, and we all make mistakes. Don't spend your time beating yourself up, because it won't help anyone. At the same time, don't let yourself completely off the hook either. You have to man up and take responsibility for your infidelity.

Show her that you care. At this point in time, actions speak louder than words... and you'll already need a lot of action to get a fraction of the leverage you previously had prior to this indiscretion. Take time to show your betrayed spouse that she is still special to you. Don't try to buy her trust back, but really pay attention to what she says she wants, and try to overdeliver on it.

A relationship ravaged by infidelity will take time to repair if it can be fixed at all, but if you manage to save your marriage, it will be well worth it in the end. Rub your hands together, take a deep breath, and get real with her. She's ready for you to tell the truth... and deep down, so are you.