So you've just recently experienced a break up, welcome to the club! I think at one time or another we've all been there. Now you're wondering what the heck to do. Well, first thing, use common sense. If You're like everyone else, your gut feeling is to aggressively pursue your ex and try to get them back immediately; this is all wrong.

So if you find yourself falling into an emotionally depressed state of mine, and you feel an uncontrollable urge to call your ex and beg them to come back to you, You must resist - calling them will not make things better! The truth is it will probably make things worse, chasing your ex even further away.

What you should do is the complete opposite of what you're feeling. Feel like calling your ex? Don't! Feel like staying inside and crying all day long? (Don't!) Feel like chasing your ex? (Don't!) Feel like sending hundreds of texts? (Don't!) Feel like sending flowers or gifts? (DON'T!) The last thing you want to do is appear desperate. Don't give up control. Listed below are three basic steps to follow, by following these steps and using a little common sense you'll be on your way to winning back your ex love.

Step 1 How to win back my ex love: First you need to accept the break up!

Accepting the break up is very important. Your ex love needs to understand that your okay with the breakup, doing this will allow the moving on phase to begin. When you do this, it will relieve the tension and stress the breakup has caused, allowing you and your ex to reflect on your relationship. You want to use your logic instead of your emotions to see if you can figure out what went wrong, and what lead to the breakup. By giver your ex love some time & space they may realizes that they are still in love with you, and find a way to get back with you.

Step 2 How to win back my ex love: After your acceptance, you will want to avoid contact with your ex love!

This was touched on in step 1, but I can't stress this enough you need some time apart to think. By cutting off all communication with your ex love, you both will have some "reflection time". This will be well worth it, no matter how counterintuitive this my seem. Cutting off communication with you ex love, will signal that you have moved on and that you have accepted the breakup and are doing fine.

The reflection time with allow you and your ex to think about the relationship and decide if it is worth saving. This time will also allow them to start missing you. By separating yourself from your ex love you will give them a chance to realize how important you were to them.

Keep in mind, that time apart maybe different for each situation, and it could be a long or short period of time. This is a good time focus on yourself, and being happy. Work out at the gym, hang out with friends, take up a hobby, work on being happy. If you have to fake being happy in the beginning, that's ok, sooner or later you'll really be happy. Either way you'll be better off, because, you'll be a happier person when you get your ex back.

Step 3 How to win back my ex love: Now it is time to plan a get together with your ex.

Once you have completed the acceptance and the reflection time, you will want to start planning a little get together. You will want to plan the when, where you should meet, and also what you will want to say when you get together. During the planning stage you should be able to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and if there is chance that you and your ex will get back together. For example: if your ex seems excited about the get together, or says something like I can't wait to see you! or I missed you!

Winning back your ex love maybe a little more complicated than the three steps above, but they are a good start, use a little common sense and you will improve your chances of winning your ex back.