If your marriage is struggling, you may be wondering how to stop a divorce. Every marriage has problems, but sometimes couples find it difficult to know what to do to fix them and things just go from bad to worse. Many things can cause the breakdown of a marriage but one of the biggest problems that drive a couple to divorce is infidelity.

An affair can get to the heart of trust between two people. The very foundation of the relationship is shattered into a million pieces and suddenly it seems impossible to imagine that things can be put back in place. But if you're serious about saving the relationship and want to know how to stop a divorce, there are some important steps you need to take.

If you were the one who was unfaithful, the first thing you must do is give up trying to tell your spouse that you are sorry and that you will never do it again. Don't bother telling him you changed. He doesn't trust you anymore and trust is hard to come by. What you have to do is give the relationship time for the trust to build back up again. You do that by making changes now but giving your partner the time he/she needs to believe you have changed.

Justifications and rationalizations will not build the trust back. Your spouse doesn't want to hear any of it. You can try and explain away your hurtful behavior but you're wasting your breath and you may just be driving your spouse further and further away.

The one thing you can do is to take responsibility for what you have done. Acknowledge your mistake to yourself and to your spouse. This alone will show the hurt partner that you know you hurt him/her. As time goes on you can begin to show your spouse that you mean what you say when you say you want to keep the relationship together.

If, on the other hand, you were at the receiving end and you were the one that was cheated on, things are looking quite differently to you. If you have decided you want to know how to stop a divorce but you don't know where to begin, there are some things you can do to help the situation as well.

Start by asking yourself some hard questions. Is there something you did or did not do that could have driven your spouse into the arms of another lover? Do you want to keep your marriage together enough to forgive the betrayal? Do you love your spouse enough to do what you have to do to keep the marriage intact?

If you answered yes to the last question, then chances are you can stop a divorce from ending your relationship. Even if you are feeling hurt and not sure whether or not you can forgive your spouse enough to trust again, there is a possibility that in time you can make the relationship work again. You need to give yourself time to let the trust re-build.

Too often couples go straight to the divorce courts when if they know how to stop a divorce and were willing to take the necessary steps and give it time, it could be avoided. You must both be willing to accept what has taken place and be prepared to work on the relationship together. In time the relationship may become stronger than it was.