How to Save a Relationship - Critical Mindset of a Save Relationship Champion

How to deal with a break-up is all in your mind. Your mind is where you handle experiences. A relationship break-up is a difficult experience to handle because it involves feeling bad and longing to find ways to save your relationship.

I recommend that you reflect on the nature of your thoughts on how to deal with a break-up, particularly in two areas. Firstly how do you represent your ex-partner in your thoughts and secondly how do you see the relationship being saved in your mind's eye.

If the relationship that you want to learn how to deal with a break-up in, was a short-term one. Anything less than half a year is a short-term.

Then do you think of your ex-partner in an idealized way? Do you see them on a pedestal, above you, better than you, more intelligent than you, perfect in fact?

You know that they are just an ordinary human being, with all of the faults and imperfections like you, don't you? But it is normal to idealize people in the early stages of any relationship.

If you are to save your relationship or just to find how to deal with a break-up you need to change your thoughts to match the reality.

Get your thoughts down on paper. Describe your relationship and the reasons behind the break-up in words, in a poem, in a drawing or a collage or in any way that reflects how you actually think.

Most of us think in a combination of images (color or monochrome? Moving or still? 'Slo-mo' or 'hi-speed') and sounds (voice, music or noise, loud or quiet?).

Explore these 'modalities' of your thoughts and realize that if you change the modalities you can choose how you feel about the experience. For example if you do idealize your ex-partner you can deal with the break-up by shrinking the size of their image in your mind's eye.

Drain your thoughts of color, change it to a still photo, put a white border around it and push it to the back of your mind. Repeat this until you realize that your ex-partner was simply a normal person and not God. You can even burn the piece of paper.

The point of this is not to take revenge on your partner but rather to give yourself a realistic perspective on whether you want to save your relationship.

If you struggle to change your perspective counselling can often help because it supports you in taking an objective viewpoint to deal with your break-up.

Next you need to look into the future and explore your thoughts on how you imagine the way to save your relationship. Do you see it in the way you watch a movie?

Are associated with the action and think as though you were seeing things through your own eyes. Or are you dissociated and seeing things from the stalls of a theatre?

If you are associated but want to be free, a counsellor can help you separate things in your mind. And if you are dissociated but want to make it a reality, counselling can help you make this personal change too. Learn to be a counsellor yourself and start saving your relationship now. Discover the secrets you must know to save your relationship by clicking the link below.

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