The divorce rate in the United States today is unbelievably high. Nearly half of all marriages fail, which is a devastating statistic when one considers the effects that a divorce has on all involved. Children, finances, retirement savings, home ownership, even pets are all terribly affected by a divorce. Many times couples divorce simply because they do not know how to save a marriage or what else to do. Tired of fighting, exhausted from the effort, without confidence in themselves and each other, and out of creative ideas, couples simply throw their hands in the air and head for their respective divorce attorneys.

There are techniques that can help save even the most seemingly hopeless of marriages. It has been widely accepted for many years that two absolute necessities for saving a marriage are improved communication skills and a desire on both parties parts to make the marriage work. More modern approaches to how to save a marriage do not hold either of those ideas in high regard. There is a theory that simple improvement of communication techniques will do nothing to help a marriage, but may actually only help couples to fight better! Without first identifying the underlying problems, better communication may well result in the couple being able to explain to each other what they not like about the other.

It is also no longer universally accepted that both parties must have an equal desire to work on the marriage. Research and modern techniques show that when one party changes behavior and approach to every day situations, it may well inspire the other party to seek out some techniques as well. It is estimated that most married couples spend about four minutes a day talking about something other than children and schedules. Even if a couple wants to know how to save a marriage, it is no wonder that those couples lose any sense of closeness or interdependence.

When one or both parties takes some steps to try to save a marriage, it does automatically change the dynamic of the relationship. Sometimes, that change alone is enough to provide a glimmer of hope in one or both parties. Hope is a contagious thing. As one party starts to understand how to save a marriage and the core problems of the relationship, her or his attitude will change. This will often capture the interest of the other. At that point, there is real hope that counseling or intervention can succeed.