If you are in a situation whereby there is a distinct lack of intimacy between you and your partner then you are probably looking for answers to the question, how to save my sexless marriage? Living within a sexless marriage can be a harrowing time with feelings of guilt, anger and rejection all coming to the fore. There are however, causes that started this lack of intimacy and they might not be what you think!

Firstly if you are on the receiving end, you probably think that the one and only reason that your partner does not want to have sex with you is because they no longer find you attractive. However, nine times out of ten this is absolutely not the case. Most people discover to their surprise that there are other underlying factors within the marriage or relationship that can manifest itself into a lack of intimacy with their partner.

One of these factors might be anger. For example, if you and your spouse have had an ongoing conflict that has not been fully resolved then this could be a big contributing factor in your sexless marriage. Before any normal sexual relations take place, you will need to sit down with your partner and thrash out the problem until it is fully resolved. This may well mean compromising heavily on your part, but it may be worth it as you could just save your marriage!

Another underlying problem could be a changing body shape. Your partner might well have piled on a few pounds lately, and they could be feeling slightly uncomfortable with their body right now. They might even feel ashamed! One of the best ways to deal with this is to not make a fuss about it. Certainly do not make a joke about "how cuddly they have become" because no matter how harmless this seems, your partner could take it very personally. Instead you need to take the lead and suggest that the whole family follow a healthy eating plan. Suggest going for walks with your partner and maybe even suggest that you both join the gym. If your partner sees that you are showing that you care about them, then they will open up to you more.

Another possible cause could be external stress. By this I mean added pressure from outside sources which could lead to stress. For example your partner may well be worried about the security of their job and the ongoing connotations this may have. Such as, money worries and how they are going to support the family etc. This could even lead to feelings of anxiety and failure.

If your partner is severely stressed, then becoming intimate with you might be the last thing on their minds. The best thing that you can do in this situation is to try to talk to your partner. Act as a sounding board for them. More often than not, a problem shared is a problem halved. Offer them your full support and reassure them that you will be there for them whatever happens.