Why is communication important in conflict resolution? Only because conflicts happen ever so often in the workplace, in groups, in the church and we have to learn to deal with them well.

And conflicts, no matter how unpleasant they may be, are really a part of life when you are living around people.

As I like to say, where the people are, there the trouble will be also.

It's a joke I make, but it reflects a deeper reality that we all face. Different opinions, different methods, different ideas happen because we all happen to be different.

However, sometimes these differences can bring about conflicts, where each party is dog-headed about their own opinion.

Other times, it can be because of the flawed nature of all of us; imperfect and ever making mistakes.

All these things can bring about conflict, and that's why there is the importance of communication skills. Effective communication skills can defuse a potentially explosive conflict in a short time, while bad communication skills can set it off!

As a leader, you have to be well equipped to handle these situations because they can make or break your team. If you handle it badly, you might lose the respect of your team and your leadership in their lives as well.

Attitudes people adopt when dealing with Conflict

1. Winning it at all costs
Generally, insecure people find it important to win an argument because somehow they believe that losing an argument would mean that their own worth as a person is taken into question.

They find it hard to accept defeat or compromise. Such behaviour is destructive and brutal to the development of any relationship.

2. Avoiding the issue altogether
Avoidance is how many people deal with conflict. Most people don't like to confront because it's a hard thing to do, so the easier thing to do is try to avoid the situation altogether and hope that both parties don't step on each other's toes in the future.

While such a method does indeed avoid the explosive effects of a conflict, it does nothing to resolve the underlying issues. The best way is to...

Dealing with conflict successfully

Dealing with a conflict is really easier said than done. Here are some steps you can take to successfully resolve a conflict.

1. Question your attitude
Are you trying to resolve this conflict to feel better about yourself? Is it to verbally injure the other party? Or is it because you really care for the person and you want to keep this relationship alive?

It is important to question your motivation before you confront, because it will frame your every word and action in that confrontation.

2. Meet together as soon as possible
The longer you stay apart from the other party and not resolve the issues, the more you allow misunderstandings and more resentment to flow into the relationships. It's very natural of us to begin to think negative of the other party, but often the case is that, we don't understand the position of the other party.

Therefore, it's important that you meet together as soon as the opportunity arises.

3. Talk about what you were thinking and how you're feeling
Begin the conversation by sharing about what you were thinking when you did what you did, and how you felt toward the response of the other party. Don't go into conclusions and make judgments about the other party here.

Encourage the other party to talk about his side of the story and his feelings too.

4. Develop an action plan
Decide on an action plan that would meet both of your expectations to resolve the issue. Identify it, make an agreement to solve it by a particular deadline and to put it behind once it is resolved. Create concrete and practical steps you can adopt to solve it together.

But above all these steps, it begins with a motivation and attitude of care and love. If you genuinely care for the other person, I believe the rest of the steps will fall into place.