Getting dumped can certainly change what you thought about your own life and your perspective on the world around you. Suddenly, black is white, white is black, and your entire existence is turned upside down. The person you loved and trusted betrayed you and there is no easy way to come back from that.

Is it any wonder that you're feeling a little vulnerable at the moment? You've lost your confidence and it feels as though you have no options left.

And this is where most people make their mistake. Without confidence, we become unsure, tentative and are more likely to allow our ex to run the show. It's not that they do this intentionally, it's just human nature. The less confident we are, the more confident they become. Eventually, we end up accepting whatever they decide to throw our way. While they may look at a phone call from us as more of an annoyance, a phone call from them simply lights up our day. Funny how that works.

Did I mention that this is not a good position to be in?

When you're in this situation, you have very limited options. Because you have no power, you have no say as to what transpires after the breakup. Your ex can have a nonchalant attitude and either take you or leave you - while you, on the other hand, are left afraid to even phone them or text them because you know you're going to get a negative response.

But is there a way to get that confidence back? Is it possible to build self-esteem even when you're in such a fragile state? Absolutely.

But you're going to have to start by getting away from your ex and that environment temporarily. It's going to be almost impossible to concentrate on anything else if you continue contacting them and attempting to get them to reconsider.

Instead, why not enlist the help of a good friend and revisit your old life? Wouldn't it be nice to go back to a time where things were a little less serious? A time where you were happy being single? It's still possible to get that back; and more importantly, to get your confidence back.

Think of what you did for fun before you met your ex? Whether it was going to clubs, sports, socializing, pursuing hobbies, or traveling, you're not going to get your confidence back as long as you're feeling miserable.

Incredibly, once you're able to do this, you're going to take the wind out of your ex's sails. And let me tell you, it's going to feel good. Almost instantly, they're going to have to acknowledge the fact that you're not so broken up over them. They'll have to acknowledge that you have moved on and you appear to be doing just fine. They're not going to like this, but that's life.

Before long, you'll probably notice that your ex will start warming up to you. Hey, they don't have much of a choice unless they truly are glad to get rid of you - and that's not likely. Any games they were playing and any power they felt they had over you is now history as you can confidently approach them and feel like an equal. Only then, can things progress.

Losing confidence and self-esteem will ensure that you have very few choices after a breakup. Take a break and see how much of a difference it makes.