Tennis is a great sport, especially if you don’t mind skinned knees, muscle spasms, and twisted backs.

We played tennis all summer when I was a kid. Our rackets were not of the rich kid variety. They were of the Hey! Look what I found in the garbage can variety.

We didn’t know that there were things to know to properly pick a tennis racket. It was more like the racket picked us. But I do remember that after World War II a local hardware store had a tremendous sale on tennis rackets.

You could get one for $5.00 if you could come up with the money.

Somehow we got the money and a number of the kids got new rackets. Surely we were all on our ways to the pros.

These rackets were not of the best quality.

One day a paste on label came off my racket. Under the label pressed into the wood above the grip was the word REJECTED.

Anything could set me laughing in those days.

While I was rolling around on the concrete of the tennis court a small crowd gathered around me. They soon figured out why I was laughing because I was pointing above the grip.

They pulled the labels off there rackets. Of course, they all were rejects. That’s why the strings came loose, they were warped, and the grip material was falling off.

We held an emergency meeting on how we could sue the sporting goods store, but we all knew how that would turn out. None of our dads were attorneys. They all lived on the east side of town.

Some of us went back to the store. The store played dumb! "Gee, we didn't know that they were rejects!"

I like to watch the pros play tennis. But tennis is a game that you also can play even into your later years. Some tennis players are even older than I am and that is pretty darn old.

A Good Samaritan pig donated his aortic valve to me this spring and maybe I’ll take the game up again. That's if I can get a gazelle to donate me a new set of legs.

Choosing a Racket

There are lots of sites such as http://www.tennisracquets.com that help you select a racket. The quoted items are from that site.

Grip Size

A too small grip can cause "injuries of wrist and elbow."

A too large grip will make you "squeeze the grip tighter. That will put an extra tension on your arm preventing the relaxed swing.”

“There is a way to measure your grip size with a ruler. Your correct grip size basically is the distance from the tip of your ring finger to the farthest main vertical line in your hand. I would not advise to rely on the ruler in this case.

“The better way to determine the correct grip is to measure it holding the racquet. Hold the racquet with one hand and slide the index finger of the other hand in between the tips of your fingers and the base of your palm. If the grip is too small--there will not be enough room for the index finger. If there is extra room--the grip is too large. The correct grip is when the index finger fits perfectly.” (see the illustrations at http://www.tennisracquets.com).

Head Size

Starting from 60 square inches in wooden frames it could be as large as 145 square inches in some exotic frames. There is a legal limit of 135 square inches for playing Official Tournaments.

The “sweet spot” in a racket is larger if the head size is larger. That is where you get the most power. So what does that tell you?

Weight and Balance

Your frame can be head heavy or head light.

Remember this: the part of the momentum of the racket is transferred to the ball. The total momentum is the same before and after you hit the ball. Where do you want most of that final momentum to be? I would guess that you want it on the ball. But what good does it do you if the head is too heavy. You’ll probably miss the ball. The racket might spin you around into a tizzy.

Conclusions

• “Lighter and head heavy racquets are better for the slower game as they deliver more power. Heavier even balanced or headlight racquets are better for advanced players to have a faster game without injuries and to have more control.

• “Tour professionals use custom balanced and usually heavier frames.

• “Any frame could be made heavier and balanced the way you like with the lead tape, but do not forget to check the facts about stiffness and flexibility.”

Go to the site http://www.tennisracquets.com for more information and references.

Time to Get at the Meat of this Article

Here are some things that I’ve noticed the pros like to do with their rackets.

• The pros like to stare at the sweet spot in a manner of worship. Therefore you should have your favorite religious icon embedded in the strings.

• The pros like to throw their rackets across the court. Therefore you should have it designed by an aerospace engineer for smooth sailing and landing.

• The pros like to smash their rackets against the ground. You should have several rackets designed by a mechanical engineer that will take pounding against concrete, asphalt, or grass.

• The pros like to yell at the linemen. Therefore you should have a bull horn mounted on your racket so you can really tell him what for!

You might want to practice your tantrums in front of a full-length mirror. You don’t want to look bad on the court do you? That brings up the point of dress. Well, you’re on your own there. Try to smile when you are practicing that racket fling with your new aerodynamic racket!