I can remember how frightened I was when I performed my very first wedding.  I was still in seminary and in my 20's and it was a small wedding in a home, but it seemed a daunting task.  The thoughts raced through my mind constantly as I prepared such as "What will I say?"  "What will I do?"  "What is the right order for everything?"  "What happens if I mess up?"  "Where can I find a wedding ceremony?"  "If I mess up their wedding will they still be my friends afterwards?" 

That was 25 years ago, and I have performed weddings over 400 times since then and have "messed up" many times (in small ways), but I have never had anyone leave mad and have never been featured on "America's Funniest Videos."  Keep in mind that what is a large mistake in your mind, is often completely unnoticed by the crowd or even the couple since it was probably only an intention in your mind that you did not follow through on or a small word mix up, etc. 

Let me give you the quick and easy way to perform a wedding flawlessly (OK semi-flawless).  It will at least increase your odds of doing a good job by a ton, even if it is your first time.  I am assuming that you have been asked to do this by friends or family or church members who have confidence in you and that you are legally certified to do it.  You probably have some public speaking experience already or you would not have been asked to perform the ceremony so I am not going to cover Public Speaking 101.  I am going to focus on the "mechanics" of performing the wedding ceremony.  This is something that I have rarely if ever seen anyone discuss.  I sure don't remember reading anything about it, but I wish I had 25 years ago.

1.  Find a good basic wedding ceremony.  You can find this in many places.  Look through ministers manuals.  Find something you can use as a template.  You may be able to find some wedding ceremony templates by doing a search online.

2.  Sit down with the couple ahead of time and find out what they want included in their wedding.  I am finding that many couples are wanting "simple."  Write down their names correctly and ask them how to pronounce their names.  Write them down in such a way that you can see how to pronounce them.  Take notes in your meeting and get all the details.

3.  Find a good order of service.  Look at wedding programs.  They vary, but many have the same basic elements of the wedding ceremony and show who does what.  The basic elements are seating of the families / mothers, groom and groomsmen enter (there are variations), bridal party enters, bride enters, presentation of the bride, bride and groom at the front, message by minister, wedding vows, ring vows, unity candle (optional), pronouncement of marriage and kiss, blessing and prayer, presentation of couple, recessional, announcement about reception.

4.  Sit down with your wedding ceremony and order of service side by side to see the transitions for yourself.  Make yourself some note in the margins of your ceremony.

5.  Meet and discuss details ahead of time with the wedding planner or wedding coordinator if they have one.  Ask them their preferences.  They will be extremely helpful.  Find out how weddings are usually performed in that venue or wedding location.

6.  Sketch out a walk though of the entire ceremony on paper using bullet points.  If you are fortunate enough to have a skilled wedding coordinator, then you will only have to be responsible for the ceremony portion of the wedding.  The ceremony itself should only take about 12-15 minutes.

For more great information on how to perform weddings flawlessly even if if it your first time see part 2 of this article.  Part two of this article deals with some of the actual mechanics of organizing the ceremony and the tricks of leading it in front of a crowd.  By following the steps in this article you can be performing weddings like a pro in no time.