How to Love Your Body Image and Yourself

Many women have a negative body image. We often have a distorted view of ourselves, which is not so surprising in our appearance-obsessed society. Sometimes, it can appear as if the most important part of us as women is our exteriors and how other people perceive our level of attractiveness.

It has been argued for many years now that advertisements and magazines portraying the size zero, youthful models have been nothing but detrimental to women's self-confidence, causing a rash of dieting extremes, consumption of beauty products and even plastic surgery.

However, there is another argument that the image we have of ourselves is predominately based on our own self-perception and the worry of what other people think of us. Women especially are accustomed to being scrutinized by others - men in particular - to the extent that we stop picturing ourselves in a clear way. This kind of objectification can be soul-destroying.

But consider for a moment the possibility of how different things would be without this concern about what others think. Imagine if there was no outside pressure to have a certain breast size, or a small waist or long legs. What if there were no judgements about our bodies at all and that all sizes and shapes were celebrated in equal measure? Imagine if there was no negative analysing of our bodies - do you think any of us would have a hang up about our body image? I doubt it very much.

Yes, I believe that magazines and advertising can be damaging, but only if we actually believe what they represent. If we were to start to be more relaxed and generous to ourselves as "normal" women who happen to come in all shapes and sizes, then we would be far less likely to feel insecure at the sight of a skinny model. An attractive body image has nothing to do with your weight or whether or not you have cellulite. Being truly gorgeous comes from confidence, pure and simple. And the great thing is - we can all be gorgeous. We can all exude the sort of confidence that makes us attractive to others. The key is to believe in ourselves and our true beauty - all of which lies beneath the skin.

We have all met people that wouldn't be classed as physically handsome or pretty by narrow, conventional standards, yet they each possessed a confidence and charm that made them irresistible. This is the real deal when it comes to being gorgeous and the great thing is that is stays with you for life. Being gorgeous comes from self-love. Not arrogance, but a true self-love that recognises our worth as a human being and recognises this worth in others too. Gorgeous folk see people rather than bodies and their lack of self-consciousness means they have freed up energy to focus on more important things in life than worrying about the size of their nose or butt.

Remember that our exterior is simply the packaging and that the contents - our soul and spirit - are far more important. So nourish your soul with good food and confidence and by all means do what you can to make the packaging as pretty as you wish, but don't imagine that the exterior is all you need to acquire a great relationship. Learning to love yourself - and your body as it is now - will make you more attractive to men than ever before and the extra pay-off is that confidence helps you get that great relationship and to make it last the course.

About this Author

Kendra Holm is The Savvy Singleton and her website is all about being happy, healthy and whole when there is no Other Half: http://thesavvysingleton.wordpress.com

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