You CAN have great sex in your marriage.  But in order to achieve this, you need to abide by two rules.  The first rule is: never go to bed in the middle of an argument. At the very least, you must postpone your argument until the next morning. Then, you must kiss each other and tell each other that you still love each other - even if you are disagreeing about something.  Remember, you can love someone that you disagree with.  And if you lay down to go to sleep and you feel like it, have sex!  Forget about the argument for a little while. Get close to each other.  And do not under any circumstances bring up the argument as you are going to sleep.

The second rule is: do not use sex as a weapon. What do I mean by this?  I am talking about the threat of withholding sex intentionally to get your way.  Nothing will build resentment quicker, and nothing will drive a person to infidelity faster.  Besides, it's just plain wrong.

Ladies, when you are young, I know you feel like you have the power.  You have the ability to make men beg because they want you so bad.  You also know that sometimes you could go a few weeks without it and be ok.  But since men are so driven and want you in such a bad way, using sex as a weapon may come almost naturally to you.  What you may not know is that later in life, the tables may be turned.  Your sex drive will increase and your man may not want it the same.  There are times when you and your partner's desires will be different, but neither of you should use this as a weapon.  Remain open to sharing intimate moments with each other - even if you think you don't feel like it.  You may be surprised to find that you change your mind once the temperature gets hot.

So what DO you use sex for? You don't use it at all.  You enjoy it, and you make it a regular and intimate part of your marriage. You make it a giving experience.  You take pleasure in giving pleasure to the one you love.  You make it so you both enjoy each other.  And you make it a great experience every time, even if 5 minutes ago you were mad.  I guarantee if you do this, you will have great sex in your marriage... for a lifetime.