Nothing in life is guaranteed - especially when it comes to relationships and knowing how to get your ex back. If you're reading this, my heart goes out to you because I have experienced, first-hand, the pain you're going through. Breaking up with someone is bad enough, but if you've been suddenly dumped for no apparent reason, the emotional anguish can be intense.  

What you need to realize is that you're at a psychological disadvantage right now. It's not your fault, but there are things you can do to turn things in your favor. Most of them involve ignoring your emotions and listening to your logical side. The reason you're at a disadvantage is because you have been on the receiving end of the breakup. In other words, you have been rejected and that gives your ex the psychological upper hand.  

If you're currently pestering your ex, making the situation worse, stop everything this instant. Not one more phone call, text message, love letter, or e-mail. Whether you realize it or not, you're digging yourself a deeper hole - one from which you may never escape.  

Next, you're going to have to get out of that funk you're in. While it may seem that no one has ever suffered like this, just about everyone has been there at one point in time. Locking yourself in your bedroom, sleeping 16 hours a day, and shutting yourself off from the rest of society is not healthy - and it's definitely not going to help you get your ex back. Find a distraction. Surround yourself with friends, take up a new hobby, or take a vacation - the main thing is to get your mind off the relationship.  

If you've made it this far, you'll likely notice that your self-esteem (and confidence) has come back. You no longer feel as though everything was your fault and you can stop blaming yourself for the breakup. Though you may still be wondering how to get your ex back, it's important now to carry on with your life, do things for yourself, and let your ex know that you're perfectly fine and you're getting on with things. It's okay to want to win them back, but it's much too early to let that secret out of the bag.  

Slowly, you're going to turn the psychological tables in your favor. You're going to create desire by using the principle of scarcity. If you are no longer available to your ex, you'll notice that they may become more friendly, "accidentally" run into you, or start asking about you when talking to your friends. We all want what we can't have and, oftentimes, attraction is created when you're unavailable. It's basic human psychology.  

Here's The Real Secret...

The last step is tricky. You're going to have to walk a fine line between scarcity and availability. You don't want to throw yourself at your ex, but you also don't want to become so aloof that they simply give up. Maintain your poise, exude confidence, but don't ignore them. They'll make sure to let you know that they are still attracted to you. If everything goes according to plan, you won't need to make the first move. The important thing is to try and create opportunities to be together socially without letting on that you're trying to rekindle the relationship. This is where common friends are invaluable. Don't underestimate this step: you can be confident, cool, and aloof, but if the right opportunity doesn't present itself, nothing is going to happen.