Platinum Author
Therapy works best when you, the therapist, have established a good relationship or rapport with your client. Rapport is a key element of unconscious human interactions, and good rapport relates to our being effortlessly and positively "tuned in" to the person with whom we are engaging. It encompasses both the verbal and non-verbal aspects of our interaction: what is explicit and what is not.
With adults, it is usually a relatively straightforward process making that important initial connection, for example by engaging in good eye contact, and using mirroring techniques, matching posture and vocal tone. However, if you are working with children, you may need to make some adjustments to how you approach those initial interactions if you want to make a good connection with them.
Understand their understanding
When you meet with a child in a therapy setting for the first few times, look to understand what they understand about why they are there. Ask what they have been told about you meeting with them, and then clarify any uncertainties for them, using age appropriate language and explanations, of course.
They can teach you things
I always look to get the child to help me work out who is who in their family. Together we construct the family genogram: the child guides me in this, letting me know who comes where in the family, telling me little stories about Dad, Mum and siblings, through to Gran and even their pets. This is what they know, and time taken to do this is time well spent.
Take time to connect
From the start, be interested in them. Do not worry about the questions you have to ask as you look to understand the problems that brought them to therapy, these can be dealt with along the way. Early on, take time to get to know the child in front of you. Get them to help you in understanding something about the games they like playing or the TV shows they watch. All this builds your rapport with them and allows them to feel that you are someone who is interested in them and their world, and with whom they can have some level of shared understanding.
Take your lead from them and from the things around them, especially if you are seeing them at home. Find out what they enjoy. Can you participate in this with them: painting, playing with toys, looking with them at books they like? If you need to get down on the floor to build Lego, get down on the floor to build Lego! Work to remove the barriers that can all-too-easily be built up between adults and children.
How you dress can be important in breaking down barriers too. Comfortable, casual dress works for children, as power dressing rarely impresses and does not really suit playing on the floor!
Do not be afraid not to know
It is okay to look stupid in front of children you work with, and let the child be superior to you in their area of expertise: their knowledge of sport or TV shows, their drawing ability, or bands they like. Let them show you what they are good at, and praise them when they do something positive. Allow them to settle with you.
Make it as relaxed as you can for the child, have fun with them and they will be more open with you.
About this Author
Dr Colin Clerkin is a clinical psychologist and coach working with children and adults in the UK or worldwide via Skype. You can find out more about Colin's work as a coach on his website, Mirror Coaching. If you would like the opportunity to work with Colin to develop the ideas contained in this article further, please don't hesitate to contact him directly via his Mirror Coaching website or email colin@mirrorcoaching.co.uk.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Colin_Clerkin
