How to Be Successful and Measure Your Success

Success is a very loaded word. What does it mean, or more importantly, what does it mean to you? It is often a combination of many things, rather than a single specific factor. If we achieved a fantastic result in one area of our life, but other areas were problematical or difficult would the achievement feel so great, or would it feel diminished or relatively unimportant and insignificant? Here are some factors that contribute to an overall feeling of success in life.

- Many people feel that the way to achieve success is through work. This can be from having committed to studying hard and achieving academic results or through taking to an apprenticeship and learning a trade or skill, or through a combination of effort and talent in obtaining the desired outcome. Work often defines who we are. So whether it is 'just' a job, or a business career or volunteer work, work often gives us a sense of purpose, a reason to get up in the morning. Successful work provides a feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment, but there is also a need to receive reward for the effort input. So, thanks, a pay packet, respect and appreciation all factor in to some degree to make the work feel truly successful.

- Money is often high on peoples lists. How much we have, how affluent we appear to be, how others perceive us, is often regarded as a measure of success. But whilst having enough money removes a lot of stress from life, having an excess of money does not guarantee happiness. A person may still be miserable, but in beautiful surroundings. That situation can then generate a vicious cycle of frustration and despair at feeling that way and not knowing what steps to take to make it better.

- Fame and Celebrity is high on the list for many young people. They often value celebrity above other things, like education, or a career. They often want to be famous with no input or effort to achieve that goal. Frequently, as time passes and they become a little older they begin to appreciate that fame for its own sake is usually a seasonal fancy, here today, gone tomorrow.

- Recognition for who we are, what we do matters to many people, often being of more importance than money or status. Being praised, appreciated, valued, treated well makes a huge difference to self esteem and satisfaction in life. Business owners achieve better results from their staff and people get on better with their partners by saying 'thank you' a little more frequently. It builds successful relationships.

- Good Health may not be something that we are born with, but even with a health condition, many of us could look after ourselves better. Paying attention to the obvious factors like a good balanced diet, reasonable exercise, stopping smoking or drinking too much alcohol. Managing stress and taking breaks, giving ourselves a treat from time to time, listening to our bodies and noticing when we are starting to feel jaded, unwell or overtired can all be guidelines for us to support ourselves to better success with our health.

- Relationship with Ourselves. Many of us need to learn to treat ourselves with more kindness, have a gentler touch, be less critical of ourselves. We often compare ourselves unfavourably to others, feel that we should match them in accomplishments, be as energetic perhaps. But we all have our individuality and we may not especially want or value what other people strive for. Learning to accept our own skills, wants and needs can be very liberating and allows us to appreciate our own successes.

- Relationship with Others. Family, friends, colleagues are people we interact with regularly. We are entitled to expect respect and consideration from others, to have boundaries that are clear as to how we expect to be treated, and also understand that so too do others. This mindset builds successful relationships.

- Peace of Mind often comes from a level of self acceptance. I often say to my clients that happiness is a by-product of being at peace, satisfied, and comfortable with our lot. That is not being complacent or apathetic, quite the opposite. It is about feeling that we stretch and develop ourselves, gain results from what we do, interact with life, nature, people, work, and are then able to be content with where we are and what we have achieved.

I like to reflect from time to time on the successes during my own journey in life. For me New Year is a time when I like to pause and consider where I was twelve months ago, what I have done/ achieved/ set into motion in the intervening months and then determine where I would like to be or what I would like to have accomplished in a years time. Goal setting is a part of my personal plan to success. But I feel that all these other factors are an important part of the equation too.

Susan Leigh is a Counsellor and Hypnotherapist who works with
- stressed individuals to promote confidence and self belief,
- couples in crisis to help improve communications and understanding
- with business clients to help support the health and motivation levels of individuals and teams

For more information see http://www.lifestyletherapy.net