How to Be Happier - Using Life Coaching Techniques to Increase Happiness

Happiness is what we all seek, but how do you find it - and keep it?

Realism

Just accepting that life isn't always going to deliver exactly what we want to us, when we want it creates more room for satisfaction in your life. If you had a dream or ambition that didn't work out, ask yourself how you can still stay close to your dream. This is better than feeling anger or bitterness about what didn't happen. Look for the avenues that are still open to you.

Another aspect to being realistic is the acceptance that we don't live in a perfect world and that from time-to-time life may be a bit of a bumpy ride. If you're experiencing tough times, is the situation permanent or temporary?

Ask yourself how you could speed up your progress through the difficult period. How long do you think it might take before things get better? What will you have to do to in order for things to improve?

Take any measures you can to improve the situation and use this time-frame as a reminder to yourself that the difficulty will not last forever. Put the situation into perspective so you can start to see smaller problems as temporary blips rather than events that will ruin your entire life.

You will feel more positive once you can see that in weeks or months (according to your estimate) you will have come through the difficult patch that you are experiencing.

Show gratitude

It's easy to think about what we feel we are missing in our lives, rather than the things that we actually have. For many of us in the West, if we stopped to think about it, then today is actually another day in paradise!

There are horrifying disasters happening every day all around the world, people without food, clothing or shelter yet we in the West are still concerned with the material things that we lack.

Make a list of all you have to be thankful for - your freedom, 3 square meals a day, the house or flat you live in, your family, friends, your favourite things, a means to earn income, your health...

Now spend a few moments imagining the hell that others around the world are going through, imagine life in a refugee camp or in a flood or earthquake hit zone. How would you cope? How would you be living? How would you survive each day?

Now bring yourself back and review your own gratitude list - are you feeling any luckier or more fortunate?

Inner peace comes with gratitude and when we are always seeking more, we are not taking the time to appreciate what is right in front of us.

Be Vigilant / Take charge

You are the captain of your own ship! This means understanding that you have control over your own life, how you view the world and what action you do (or don't take). Examples of pro-active steps include:

Actively pursuing happiness. Make time in your life to do the things that make you happy and set yourself some personal goals which will bring you towards things in life that you consider to be positive, exciting and worthwhile. Surround yourself with characters who are grateful, positive and supportive so as to bring more 'lightness' to life.
'Turning the boat around' if you're heading for trouble. This is about getting into the habit of checking the horizon every so often for signs of a storm or that you're about to hit the rocks. I'm rather fond of analogies, so forgive the seafaring ones used here, but by this I mean that you should not only be looking at the day-to-day detail of your life but also the 'big picture' and where things are heading. Ask yourself right now if you're happy with the direction that your life is moving in. This is important because 'bad' or negative people or situations will almost certainly lead to unhappiness.
Try to maintain a conscious awareness of any unease that you feel in any areas of your life. This is often your instincts warning you to be on the alert.
If there are things or people in your life that are clearly making you unhappy, then make a pledge to yourself to address the issues. Identify the top 3 biggest problem areas and spend at least 10 minutes per issue right now thinking about as many options as possible to reduce the pain that they create.

When you regularly think about these things, it is far easier to stop and make a few adjustments before larger problems arise. Seek support from a therapist or coach if you require some support in making decisions, changing behaviour or getting the changes that you have made to 'stick'.
©The Coaching Pyramid Company UK. 2010. All rights reserved.

About this Author

Kemi Kukoyi BSc (Hons) AMAC is a published author in the fields of personal-development, sales and business coaching and is a member of the Association for Coaching.

K+ Coaching Services UK
Change Management and Transition Coaching
''Helping you manage change successfully''

E-mail: info@kpluscoaching.co.uk

Facebook: facebook.com/CoachKayLondon
Twitter: @CoachKayLondon
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