Few of us have time to learn how to write a eulogy in advance. In truth, not many of us ever find ourselves faced with writing a eulogy. For those of us that do, the notice is usually short, and the task must be done under the stresses of coping with the loss of someone very special to us.

Perhaps the best way to start approaching the task of writing a eulogy is to go back to the meaning of the word "eulogy", which is derived from Greek words translating broadly as "a good word". You could look upon a eulogy as a funeral oration or tribute, but I rather like the idea of seeing as an opportunity to put in a good word for the loved one being honored.

A eulogy is usually delivered as a speech at a funeral service. It is at once something personal and a way to involve all of those present in remembering the good things about the life of the person who has passed on. A good eulogy is less a personal statement of your feelings about the person than a way to draw the mourners present together to share in recalling and celebrating the life that has been lost.

By looking at a eulogy in this way, your task is suddenly made much easier. The burden is no longer just yours. You can feel free to draw on the thoughts of a large group of people for their recollections, feelings and opinions, and speak on their behalf as well as expressing your own personal thoughts. You can see yourself reading the eulogy as a way putting in a "good word" for the person on behalf of many of those present.

In some situations you may be speaking about the person from one point of view - family, work colleagues, golfing buddies, or whatever. Your eulogy can then be written on behalf of that group of the mourners, and feature just their recollections and feelings about the deceased.

The most common format for a eulogy is to follow through the major life events of the person chronologically, and to highlight distinctive personal incidents and memories. Noteworthy personal habits and a little humor are usually mixed in with mention of special accomplishments and attractive personality characteristics. A feature of successful eulogies is that they will include comment on the positive impact the person had on other people along the way, especially on the speaker and others present at the funeral.

In the spirit of putting in a good word for the deceased, a eulogy will rarely dwell on any less attractive side of a person's life - a funeral is a time for positive thoughts, forgiveness and perhaps a little regret at lost opportunities; but traditionally it is not a time for accusations and controversy when the person is not in a position to come to his or her own defense.

Finally, a eulogy needs to be written as a speech, in a form that is easy to deliver.