How To Appreciate That You Will Die

Death
Unfortunately most people don't live their life in accordance with these two principles. They tend to think that they have 100% control over situations and that things never change. To illustrate this point you only have to look at this life. You don't stay young forever, friendships, relationships change over time as well. And we are certainly not on this earth forever. Eighty or ninety years if your lucky, sometimes less. Yet people live their life as if they are going to be here forever and that things will never change. And worse still, you don't even know when you are going to die. It could be tomorrow, it could be in 40 years time. And that is impermanence in action.

Through appreciating the principles of impermanence and interdependence and realising that you will eventually die one day makes you look at the world in a slightly different way. It definitely impacts on how we respond to the ups and downs of this world, learning not to take them to heart as much. Instead to look at the bigger picture. In so far that everything in life changes and that you will one day die. So life is precious and to make every moment count!

Depression and Anxiety
Mental health and negative emotions follow a very similar pattern. They are constantly changing. Thoughts and emotions by their very nature are impermanent. How many thoughts will you have in a given day? Too many to count? Do you remember them all? No! Why do we tend to fixate on the negative ones that cause us mental health problems? For example, "that my boss doesn't like me" or "That my partner is going to leave me."

That is the root of the problem. I'm sure plenty of people have told you not to worry about your mental health problems. This probably isn't the most useful approach when dealing with depression and anxiety (because it is easier said than done). However, if you realise that they are just thoughts and emotions that will eventually pass, then this is a really good start. It sounds like a very simplistic way of dealing with mental health problems doesn't it? It actually is the core of the solution. Intellectually it is a very simple concept but practically it is often very difficult to apply.

Not worrying about negative emotions, is applying the principles of impermanence and interdependence. In actual fact this mental process is a very active one. The not worrying involves realising that the situation in life or negative emotion is not constant and caused by a number of different "things" and will eventually change.

Personal Story
For a very long time I really did struggle with attachment in particular and didn't really appreciate the impermanent (that everything changes) nature of this world. I would really hold onto good experiences and want my life to turn out in a particular way. For example, in high school, I wanted to be liked by my peers, be in the cool group and get good grades to be able to study psychology at university. This negative mindset was present in all areas of my life. It was as if I couldn't fail or be seen to be a failure in life. Upon reflection I was also motivated by wanting to be seen in a favorable light by others in society.

Then I learnt to let go! What a difference it made. It freed me up so much. I was able to fail in life or not succeed if I wanted to. The opposite happened in reality. It enabled me to do soo much more with my life. I really noticed this in terms of romantic relationships and career. I was able to have more productive relationships with girls and choose more rewarding and ultimately better paid jobs. Which ultimately allowed me to have the courage to move into self-employment.

If you can really integrate these principles in your life, all hope fear, embarrassment will just dissolve and you will be guided by much stronger forces. These forces are impermanence, interdependence and ultimately death! You will focus on what is really important for you (right now) and not become distracted by other people or things that don't matter and are ultimately temporary.

When events do happen in life (e.g., you lose your job, your relationship breaks down) hopefully you will be able to see the real reason for these events and not blame it on yourself or blame it on someone else or a single event. That it is due to a set of causal conditions and that no one person or thing has complete control over it. You will see events in life for what they truly are.

I'm not saying that you should be a failure in life. Far from it. I'm saying that it will remove the pressure to succeed or be seen as one. I'm also not giving you a ready made excuse for not doing things in life. I'm trying to remove some of the pressure, so that you will be able to succeed and overcome your mental health issues. Why? Because you will see the world for how it really is. That is - it is made up of a set of causal conditions that are consistently changing and that everything is interdependent.

Psychologist Brisbane
Counselling Brisbane