Are you and your spouse arguing more and more as your marriage goes on and you are asking yourself "how do I deal with conflict in my marriage?" Well the first thing that needs to happen to gain an understanding of what conflict is basically. Conflict is defined as a "collision or disagreement" according to Dictionary.com. Conflict is a very broad term that can range from a small disagreement to all out war. And in this situation you need to understand that your marriage is NOT in a state of war. It is in a state of disagreement. That being said, both you and your spouse need to find a way to bring your marriage back to a state of peace.

Here is what you need to do to bring peace back to your marriage.

• Step back and take a breath. If you and your spouse are disagreeing on some aspect of your marriage or an issue, take a step back and take a breath. Understand that we are all human and can not be perfect.

• Go into a listening mode. Listen to what your spouse has to say about the issue or problem. It is not going to help your case if you are yelling and butting into the conversation while your spouse is trying to communicate what they think about the issue at hand. Yelling will only make the situation escalate out of control and this is what you want to avoid.

• Communicate your point of view. Once your spouse has finished telling you what they think, it is your turn to communicate your position. Hopefully your spouse will stay in a listening mode as you did in the step before. But if they do but in, politely remind them that you did not interrupt them when they were talking and ask them to pay you the same respect.

• Once you and you spouse have the issue out on the table, try to calmly come to a compromise on how to resolve the issue at hand. It needs to be a compromise where you both agree to a course of action.

This is a very simple way to work through a conflict with your spouse on any issue that you both may not agree on. Remember that happy marriages are built by spouses that learn the skill of communication throughout the marriage. It is a skill that is developed over many years of talking and working together. Develop this skill and a happy marriage can be within your grasp.