Losing the man you love is hard. When the breakup first happens, you are naturally heartbroken but there is always hope in the back of your mind that your ex will change his mind and come back to you. More intense pain strikes when a bit of time has gone by and your ex finds a new girlfriend. It is hard to bear the thought that your man is now with another woman and the only thing you can think about is "how can I get my ex back when he has moved on".

The first thing to remember is that you don't know what is going through your ex boyfriend's mind. It could be that he regrets breaking up with you but doesn't know how to make the first move get you back. Your ex might be dating another girl because he was lonely after he broke up with you and just wanted some company. It could even be that the breakup affected him so badly that the new woman caught him on the rebound.

You can take comfort in the knowledge that the worst basis for starting a relationship is being catching someone on the rebound. If that is what happened and your ex still secretly loves you, the new girl won't be able to hold onto your ex for long.

If your ex's relationship with this new woman seems to be very intense right from the start but then ends abruptly, these are signs that it was most probably a rebound romance. What you need to do is to establish how your ex feels about you; even though he appeared to have moved on, he might be deeply troubled about breaking up with you.

If your ex contacts you after he has broken up with his new girlfriend, the worst thing you could do would be to rush back into his arms. I know that is what you will want to do, that is only natural, but it is a sure way for you to leave yourself vulnerable to getting hurt again.

Don't be tempted to date other men to make your ex jealous, or to punish him for the hurt he inflicted on you. That is a tactic that carries a danger of backfiring and hurting everyone involved.

You need to remember that your ex has just come through two broken relationships. He is bound to be hurt and confused (even if he instigated both breakups), so don't let yourself get too involved until your ex has had time to get his thoughts and feelings straight.

There is no harm in being warm and friendly, but for goodness sake, keep your ex at arm's length until you are sure where you stand with him. If you get back with your ex too soon, the chances of another break up will be multiplied. You need to protect yourself from the possibility of further heartbreak if your ex decides that he has moved on since you broke up.