How can I get my boyfriend back when I feel as if I drove him away? Are you asking yourself this question? Did you know that many relationships have their ups and downs, and that most of the downs occur because of a misunderstanding?

Are you stuck in trying to figure out what went wrong and why you are feeling as if you are the cause for the breakup? I have put together a few ideas as to why men seem to get the wrong message and as a result, they end up backing off.

Many men will back off for reasons that are actually contradictory in nature. For example, you are doing everything you can to make him happy, waiting on him hand and foot, and answering his every beck and call. If this is the case, then you are trying too hard! In the end all you have accomplished is to present yourself as a doormat in his eyes.

You must be respectful of who you are and how you are selling yourself. I am not saying that you must be dominant in the relationship, rather maintain your self-respect and self-esteem in his eyes. It is true that men like to be treated well, and slightly spoiled, they also like for their women to stand up for themselves.

Another thought on what might cause your ex to back off is to talk about past relationships. Men, as a rule, are very competitive where dating is involved. When you bring up an ex boyfriend you are inevitably giving them cause to compare themselves against another. It is okay to tell them that you do have a history with another man, just don't discuss the details. If you focus in deeply on an ex your boyfriend could be reading this as you still have feelings for this person, and if what you bring up is all negative about your ex, you will be causing your boyfriend to over analyze himself.

Your behavior is a sensitive issue that needs to be discussed because presenting yourself in an overly business like behavior, or on the other hand, in a manner that is deemed to be promiscuous, will work against you. The general idea is to portray the real you in a lady like or feminine manner. Exposing too much skin can work against you whereas behaving in a masculine mode will also push your partner away. The best scenario is to be feminine, conservative and to present yourself as someone who is not cheap or intimidating.

Trying to get your boyfriend to define himself in the relationship as to what his role may be and what his feelings are will also cause him to retreat. Men do not like to have their feelings challenged and by doing this you could send him away.

Another way to drive him away is to try and change him. Don't attempt this as it will not happen, you can't do it. Attempting to change him only reflects back on you that you are implying he has a serious problem. Even though he doesn't have a problem, trying to change him will challenge him and could possibly strip him of who he is. So let him be his self. If you still feel that you need him to be something else, find someone else.