How Are You Making Decisions?

Your first response to this question might be, "What do you mean?" I mean what thought processes do you go through when you make a decision? Where is that decision coming from? What is influencing you when you make decisions? Are you making them from your head or your heart/gut? Like so many others things we do in life, it's good to check in with the behaviors that have become more or less "autopilot" for us to make sure we're heading in the right direction.

Eckhart Tolle points out in his book, "The Power of Now" that a great deal of what people say, think or do is actually motivated by fear. This is very true for many of us when it comes to making decisions. We make decisions from a place that is other than now. We step outside of ourselves and try to anticipate an outcome. We evaluate all our possible options and with painstaking patience, walk through consequences of each. This is good to do but the problem lies in that many of us get stuck here and really have trouble moving beyond this point.

We make a decision but often relive it in our minds, not willing to let go of the options that we actively chose to discard. This is especially true if the outcome doesn't go in our favor. We beat ourselves up for not selecting the "right" option and live in the energy of that frustration versus accepting what is and moving forward. It's almost as if we hope that by rethinking it over and over again, the outcome will change. It's important to take what you can from a less than desirable outcome and just simply learn from it. Accept it and allow your mind to release and anxiety or frustration over it.

But allowing our minds to just release a poor outcome is easier said than done. It takes a conscious awareness of how we are reacting in the moment and then literally retraining our minds to respond in a more favorable way. When your energy is focused on what could have been or what isn't, you are not allowing yourself to be fully present in what is in front of you right now and ultimately sabotaging yourself in moving forward towards your goals.

When we are confronted with having to make a decision, don't over think your options. Focus your energy inward and ask yourself these four questions:

1) Is this something I want to be, do or have?
2) Is being, doing or having this going to take me closer to my goal?
3) Is being, doing or having this in harmony with God's laws?
4) Is being, doing or having this going to violate the rights of others?

This list was originally provided to me courtesy of David Neagle (www.davidneagle.com) and has made a huge impact in how I approach my decision making now. I keep a copy of it front and center on my desk so I can refer to it when I find myself getting bogged down in making a decision. I simply go through this checklist and if I answer "yes" to all the questions I know I am making a decision that is internally based on my values and goals and not outwardly driven. It's allowed me to focus on the decision at hand, make a quick assessment and then move forward without looking back. Make a habit of consulting this list whenever you need to make a decision. I promise you that in doing so, you'll experience a shift in your energy level and mindset that will allow you to be more fully present and successful in everything you do. As Anthony Robbins so eloquently said, "It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped".

Assignment:
Take inventory of how you feel the next time you make a decision. Step back and really observe how you are approaching making that decision and where that decision is coming from. Are you experiencing any anxiety, stress or fear around making that decision? If the answer is yes, those emotions are present because you are making your decision from a place other than your heart. You are looking outward for signs or confirmations that you are moving in the right direction rather than focusing your attention inward and tapping into that divine source that is there to guide you. The four questions I referred to in the article above allow you to connect with that divine source and make your decision from a place that directly speaks to your desires and your goals and directly aligns with your life's purpose. Really take the time to become aware of how you are making your decisions and use this list to help get you in the habit of looking inward and allowing that internal energy to guide you to the right answer.

Karen Dunlap is an interior designer, business owner and creator of the Design For Your Success NOW System™, a unique training and coaching program specifically created for design professionals. Using specific strategies and systems, Karen coaches design professionals on how to simplify their business, attract ideal clients and get back to their original passion, designing and decorating.

Karen Dunlap | Interior Designer, Student Member ASID, Trade Partner AIDP

KMD Interiors, LLC
43283 Thaddeus Lane
Lansdowne, VA 20176
p. 571.218.6531
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e. karen@kmdinteriors.com
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