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Moving home is supposedly one of the most stressful times of your life. So why would anybody want to do it? I have done it now 8 times since the age of 18 - that's approximately once every two and a half years! My wife equally so - and we are considering doing it again!!
It's a scary thought, and not something that anyone would consider lightly - given all of our children, their schools, their father and grand parents and our pets, we really have to weigh it up. No firm decision has been made yet, but we are banding about ideas and pros and cons, as everyone should. Availability of work, a new start, the closeness of my wife's father and step mother (they live in the area we are thinking of moving to.), the schools in the area, the stress of moving, the impact on the children... so many things to consider.
We are thinking of moving around 130 miles east of where we currently live, closer to my wife's father and his wife. A lovely couple, always very welcoming and helpful with life's little questions. We love them both dearly and spend nowhere near sufficient time with them. Our children love them too and are always asking to see them. Given the price of petrol, it is not always the easiest thing to do. Reason enough to move? Unfortunately not.
We love the area, in East Anglia, England. My wife always feels at home there. It is very picturesque and countryfied and most of the towns are market towns, plus the area is steeped in history. It's a very relaxing place and the pace of life is somehow more relaxed too. The houses are different to those we currently live in, but we have seen houses to suit our family in our price range. It would therefore cost us about the same to live there, so no problem there. Some areas however, may cost more to live in and therefore it is important to have a budget and shop around to find something as good as, if not better than, your current home for the same price or LESS!
As far as work goes, getting a job may have been a problem given our current climate. But (and I know this will sound weird) thanks to my recent health problems it has become less of a problem! I now have two businesses set up, which have no particular local bearing and are therefore transferrable to any location in the country. I also help my wife's father and his wife with their business, and therefore moving closer to them would actually make things slightly easier. My wife's job, again is transferrable and can be done in any location, although she may need to do more miles in order to travel to her customers. Finding a job is not easy no matter where you live and therefore, the employment situation in the area you wish to move to should be seriously considered before any decision is made.
My wife's step-mom is a teacher and therefore we have been able to discuss schooling in the area and look at Ofsted reports on the various schools our children may need to attend. Until we find a home, however, we cannot say for sure which school it will be. They are all still young enough to deal with the change, and not yet old enough for it to be hugely stressful for them. Give it another 1-2 years however and that could be different. We feel that they would be excited about being closer to their grand parents, as they always enjoy their grandchildren. My wife's mom, currently lives quite close to us, but we see very little of her as she has health problems that mean she remains in her home for extended periods. This is not good for the children, constantly asking after her, expecting her to live up to promises of coming to see them etc. we do visit, but then the promises come. They will still miss her, but the impact of not seeing her would be less. Children are a big consideration when it comes to moving - we all know our children, and can gauge how they would react to things. As parents we need to take this into account when considering making big changes in their lives.
As for their real father, he sees the children once every two weeks, and this is a halter. Would he travel 130 miles every two weeks to pick up his children - probably not, but then it is a long way. Is it fair to the children or their father to put so many miles between them? Again probably not. This is a dilemma that we are struggling with. He's a nice enough guy, despite the problems he and my wife had, and I would not want to deny him his children - they all love each other very much. This is a really hard decision to make - you may need to move, but what is fair on the absent parent - only you can decide.
The pets will obviously move where ever we go. Life for them goes on as normal. Transporting them will not be the easiest task - 4 snakes, 2 lizards, 17 tropical fish, 2 turtles, a dog, 2 cats, 2 rabbits, 4 guinea pigs and a hamster - not to mention the spider to come. That will be an onerous task in itself!!! There are special removal companies who specialise in moving animals, slightly more expensive but definitely worth considering if you have animals to move.
So are we going to go through with it? We do not yet currently know the answer to this question. We talk, we list, we pontificate, but still no decision. At the end of the day it does not matter where we live, so long as we all love each other. A house is just bricks and mortar, transferrable, any house can be made a home as long as it is filled with happiness and love. You need to feel comfortable in your surroundings - your house, your street, your town - comfortable that you and your children are safe and that they will receive the best schooling possible.
Home really is where the love is, as long as you have love for each other, and you are all together in one place that you love, then you have your home. To move or not to move? Stay posted for the answer!
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