It is that time of year again - holiday music playing, parties and merry-making, couples strolling along laughing, family, and all the trimmings. If you are not in a relationship, all the holiday trappings in the world may not stave off your feelings of loneliness. At parties, you may be the odd man out (or odd woman out). What can you do besides turn into Scrooge, mutter "bah humbug!" and withdraw?

Being single during the holidays does not have to mean suffering through and praying for the day after New Year. It can actually be an opportunity, if you choose to look at it that way. First, acknowledge that you cannot possibly be the only single person around. Odds are you are surrounded by others in your situation. Second, choose to initiate something rather than passively sitting around waiting for others to do so.

One option: organize a singles holiday party. If you belong to a church or synagogue, get on the committee to put the party together. If you do not, call one other single friend and enroll him/her in putting together an impromptu party. Each of you invites your circle of single friends. If you enroll one or two others to help, then they can invite their circle of single friends. Next thing you know, you have pulled together a party of 35 to 40 singles.

Do not be afraid to set standards for the guest list up front. Some people like to set the rule that each single brings an eligible opposite-gender friend (that they do not want to date). What you do not want is a room full of same-sex friends all standing around lamenting the lack of good people to date. That said, if you do have a mostly girl or mostly guy party, make it about setting your intentions going forward, not crying about the past.

At your singles party, invent fun activities that are also intentional and consciousness-raising. Have each person put together a dream list for the next year, relationally, career wise, and otherwise. Have people share their lists out loud. Create fun, enlivening games. DON'T encourage lots of alcohol consumption to drown your singles sorrows. DON'T let it devolve into a sex party, with couples retreating to bedrooms to drown their sorrows in meaningless hook-ups.

Another option: get yourself invited to your single friend's company holiday party. This works if there are lots of singles at the company and if guests are welcome. This can be a golden opportunity to meet someone new in a non-threatening, light-hearted environment.

Yes, go out to the bars and mingle with other singles, but keep alcohol consumption low and don't expect much from those activities. Instead, put on your creative hat and invent something new and different that will encourage connection on many levels - with friends and with potential new dating partners.