Grief and Loss - Understanding the Nature of Time

Time is a very complex thing. As Einstein once said, it's relative. We all know about it. Do something you really enjoy and time passes in what seems like seconds. Do something you find boring and a chore and time drags on and never seems to end. Loss is definitely something we do not enjoy.

We've all had the experience of being wrapped up in our loss and finding it incomprehensible that others don't remember about it. As time goes on, it seems that the only ones who remember about it are us. Every year, the people who remember anniversaries become less and less. Even people closest to you start to forget about it. That's because it's not important to them. It didn't affect their life.

Our loss is only important to us because if did affect our life. Not only then do we have to content with the passing of time that takes us further and further away from that which was once so important to us but we also have to contend with the knowledge that other people over time don't want to be present in our loss. They appear to become tired of hearing about it and its effects on your life and so we stop talking about it. Yet that doesn't mean that time is healing it. Only that it's almost become socially unacceptable to talk about it.

There is a great scene in the first episode of Star Trek: Deep Space 9 called Emissary. Without boring you with too many details about the program, the lead character Sisko has an encounter with a race of non-linear beings. That is that the past, present and future are all the same thing to them. They take him to where he is living in an attempt to understand him better. It turns out that he's still living at the moment his wife died in an attack upon their ship. That despite linear time moving forward, psychologically he's still stuck there, right at the moment of his loss, unable to move forward.

We can all close our eyes and transport ourselves back into that moment we experienced our loss. It seems ingrained upon us. The sequence of events that occurred and along with it all those emotions, not only of that moment, but those that we have accumulated since then can overwhelm us once again. Our current moment in the present becomes swamped and can drag us down into a state of despair.

There is no easy answer to how much time we need to move beyond our bereavement or how long it will be before it stops affecting our daily life. Stopping ourselves from returning to the past and living in the now is challenging. Yet the one thing that time can give us however is the chance to reflect on our loss, to incorporate it into our lives and learn to live because of it.

Now watch free videos on the "7 Main Myths of Bereavement That Can Keep You Stuck in Grief" and "How to Start Thriving Loss" and get your free report "12 Tips to Transform Grief, Live Fully and Thrive Loss" at http://www.tabithajayne.com

Tabitha Jayne is a Grief and Loss Transformation Coach who supports people affected by loss transform grief, find peace and feel more positive about the future so that they can create happier, healthier, more meaningful lives in tribute to their loved ones.