Gifts of an Open Heart: Kindness

I read, recently, that "it's better to be kind than to be right." This caused my mind to stop. It shifted my focus from my mind to my heart. Still, my mind asked, why did this statement have such a powerful effect on me?

Doesn't being "right" means getting good grades in school, more money at work, job promotions, and success in the world. Does focusing on kindness really have to mean that we don't do as well materially? Perhaps it is not "a dog eat dog" world unless we THINK that it is. Perhaps focusing on expressing kindness opens us to receive as much or more than ever before. Maybe a new way of living and experiencing the world would evolve if everyone focused on being kind to each other. Maybe it's time to re-evaluate what it means to have a successful life.

How do we behave when we are being "right"? Frequently, we are insisting that someone else is "wrong". In our efforts to get them to acknowledge our "rightness", we may try to make others feel stupid and small.

Being "right" is an ego thing. As we insist on our "rightness" we get louder and more vehement. We usually stop listening to what the other person has to say. We are so busy trying to prove ourselves "right" that we are thinking about our next words rather than hearing an opinion or information which does not match our own ideas or opinions.

Sometimes we get on a metaphorical soap box and rant on for a long time. We are only listening to our own voice at this point, and we may be congratulating ourselves as we notice that others have ceased to speak up and gone into silence. We assume we have convinced them. Actually, they have tuned us out. In addition, they may harbor hurt feelings and a desire to escape our presence.

Being "right" clearly isn't very useful if no one is open to hearing our ideas because our ego got in the way. Does being "right" always mean the ego takes over?

Why is it better to be kind than to be right? What is kindness, anyway?

To be kind includes being benevolent (doing something good for someone else); being benign (not harming another - which is not the same as doing good); showing tenderness and consideration for another; being gracious; and being gentle. It means being a good listener, which requires being quiet while focusing on the other person.

From a spiritual perspective, being "right" seems to feed our ego, while being kind puts someone else ahead of ourselves. This certainly means that kindness is a higher frequency vibration than rightness. Try this simple exercise.

• Close your eyes.
• Take 2-3 deep breaths and imagine you are in your heart center.
• Say to your self, "I am right."
• Notice how your heart feels after you say it.
• Repeat "I am right. I am right. I am right."
• Again, notice how your heart feels. (wait for 30-60 seconds before proceeding)
• Now, while still in your heart center, say to your self "I am kind."
• How does your heart feel?
• Repeat "I am kind. I am kind. I am kind."
• Again take 30-60 seconds and open to what you are feeling.
• Repeat "I am right. I am right. I am right."
• Listen to how you say the word "right".
• Are you aware of any tension or other sensations in your jaw? Your lips? Anywhere else in your body?
• Repeat "I am kind. I am kind. I am kind."
• Listen to how you say the word "kind". Are you aware of any tension in your jaw? Your lips? Anywhere else in your body?
• Are you aware of any tension or other sensations in your jaw? Your lips? Anywhere else in your body?

Was there a difference in how your heart and other parts of your body felt when saying these two "I AM" statements? If you felt a difference, was the difference subtle or large?

As we rush through our daily lives, how often do we think about being kind to someone else, or even to ourselves? Perhaps we need to remind ourselves to focus on kindness. Maybe we need a message taped to the bathroom mirror saying, "Do something kind today."

If you feel that it is time to bring more kindness into your life, here are some ideas of how to get started. Remember, kindness flows from the heart and to practice kindness is easier when we are living in our Heart Center.

• Several times a day, check in with your heart center. It is open?
• Notice the words you use when you speak to yourself and to others. Are they words of encouragement or criticism? Make a commitment to use more encouraging words and to phrase things in a way that encourages others.
• Stop gossiping.
• Do one simple act of kindness every day. There are many ways to do this and here are some examples:

- bring someone a glass of water

- let the car trying to merge into your lane get in front of you

- be patient while waiting in line for something

- listen to someone without judging them

- remember to say thank you to everyone

- smile at someone who seems to need it

- send love from your heart to their heart without speaking a word

When you make kindness a daily practice, it will not only change how others perceive you, but it will change how you feel about yourself and your life. Then you will know from experience the power of kindness.

Nedda Wittels, M.A., M.S., is a world renowned telepathic Animal Communicator, Light Workers, and Shamballa Master, and Teacher offering private sessions in distance telepathic communication with animals, energy/intuitive healing for humans and animals, akashic record consultations, and spiritual empowerment coaching. She can be reached at 860-651-5771 or at http://www.raysofhealinglight.com. http://www.AnimalCommunicatorForum.com