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So, getting back together after a break up may seem like the easiest thing to do. After all, you have won back your love, now what in the world could go wrong? A thousand things, believe me. A relationship after a break up is not the same and there may be some very important dos and don'ts that may go a long way in cementing the cracks that have appeared in the fabric of the relationship during the break up.
The first and foremost of them is to be willing to make any changes or adjustments required. Often these adjustments may be the result of the need to change some habits or behaviors that may have caused irritation earlier (or worse... had caused the break up itself). Or it may be changes that may need to be made in view of the slightly altered equation of their relationship post the break up. So, getting back together after a break up may not be the most comfortable of experiences emotionally or physically but remember that if you really love your partner or ex lover, then the effort may really be worth it.Secondly, keep the communication gates open. Openly discussing and evaluating the reason for the break up and finding common ground between the two of you is the only sensible and long lasting way to bridge up the gaps in the relationship.
Complete honesty and sincerity towards your lover (or ex lover) is the one and only foolproof way to making an inroad into his/her heart. Sincerity cannot be faked... at least not for a long period of time and will always come through as a true virtue in testing times. It will make the relationship stronger and the trust of your lover in you more permanent.
Respect boundaries. One of the most common reasons for another break up after a couple got back together is that they put in too much of themselves in to their union after the break up. Mostly one or the other person in the relationship tends to compromise themselves when getting back together but after some time either feels cheated or feels that they have given in too much (at least much more than the other one). So remain true to yourself and also respect your partner for this. That is, never make or expect promises that cannot be kept or agree to terms or conditions that are unlikely to be met.
Avoid blame games and verbal tug-o-wars. Never engage in arguments that start with "You said..." This leads to a virtual fight for power over the situation and in a bid to stay on top, you may only end up causing more heartburn or disgruntlement. Such arguments prepare the grave of a relationship and serve no other purpose than to bring the relationship closer to a messy break up sooner or later. Remember your relationship is no fighting ring but a love nest, where it is better that all be winners.
And last but not the least is the eternal advice... learn to listen. Take your partner or ex lover seriously. Listen to their requests and complaints seriously and intently; always avoiding the urge to laugh it off if they don't seem significant enough to you. Learn to relate to their problem as if it is your own problem. Try to find or suggest solutions but never overdo it. Often the troubled person is only looking for a friend in you, who could empathise with their situation. Sometimes compassion and the ability to reassure the other person is all it takes to build up a long lasting and good relationship.
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Getting back together after a break up is not a game and let's face it, sincere effort is required on the part of both the ex lovers, in spite of all the love that they may be sharing. Remember, it won't just happen! you have to make it happen!
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